Apostasy
by Cael Luciano
Summary: After Celty makes a startling discovery about Shizuo's real feelings, things start to spiral out of control for the both of them. Will Izaya be able to find the truth of their situations? What will it cost him when he does...? Eventual Shizaya.
1. Realization

**So what if Celty had noticed something about Shizuo besides his love for Kasuka after hearing his story? Inspired when I rewatched episode 7 (Shizuo's childhood episode).**

"And that is why I HATE that disgusting flea!"

Celty 'stared' at the peeved debt collector, seeming to gather her words. It was hard to tell with Celty. Or maybe it was just a test of body language, and she was actually quite expressive for a Dullahan. But since she was the only headless fairy in Ikebukuro, we'd never really know.

[Shizuo…] She typed hesitantly.

"Ehhhh? What's with the dramatic pause Celty? I just spelled out my whole life story for you, whatever you have to say, I'm sure it can't be any more personal than that."

His encouragement seemed to make her even more hesitant, as if she was afraid of contradicting his words. But soon enough, she rallied. After all, not much could frighten Celty (besides aliens of course).

[So that's… all? That's why you hate Izaya?]

"HUH? That's all? What are you talking about Celty? That's plenty of reason! You even know the guy! I shouldn't have to explain why he's a prick- unless you actually _like_ that flea?" Shizuo's suddenly suspicious eyes narrowed at Celty, his chest swelling with rage.

[No! No no Shizuo! That's not what I'm saying at _all_! Just calm down, let me explain!]

The debt collector grit his teeth, closed his eyes, and tried to breathe deeply. This was Celty. It would be stupid of him to get pissed at one of his best (cough and only cough) friends. But- he got so angry just _thinking _about the flea, so any actual mention of him was just automatically rebuffed, along with whichever idiot that had the nerve to talk about that bastard around him. And, the poor fools who had the nerve to be in close vicinity of him _while_ said idiots mentioned said bastard.

Celty saw him getting angry and was about to back off, drop the subject entirely and never broach it again when-

_A sudden movement flashed at both sides of Celty's peripheral vision, as if two cars had just speed away in opposite directions of each other. She glanced around swiftly, but there was nothing but the empty streets. _

"Okay, Celty," Shizuo said slowly, opening his eyes, trying to keep his nearly nonexistent cool. "What are you trying to say?"

She shook off the weird sensation of being watched, and decided to make her case. [Well, I was just thinking that, most people form lifelong grudges against other people, because, uhhhh, they slept with their sister, or humiliated their family, or killed a loved one of theirs, right? And, well, Izaya didn't do any of those things so I just thought….]

Thankfully, none of this seemed to be setting Shizuo off. He just stared at Celty blankly. "Well, he has been trying to kill me for quite some time now, Celty. If he hates me enough to try and kill me constantly, it's obvious I should do the same."

[Yeah, Izaya is a really bad guy and he deserves to be hated, but you just don't seem the hating type Shizuo.]

Shizuo eyed Celty liked she had just grown a second head. Or in her case, a head at all….

"I'm sorry; I thought you were Celty, a friend of mine, who knows about my horrible temper and general attitude towards jackasses. My mistake, if you see her, could you tell her-"

Celty cut him off, shoving her PDA into his face. [Don't be so sarcastic. I'm just saying, you're not the type to hold a grudge like this!] She paused again, pondering what she herself meant by that. It had just seemed… right. It fit with Shizuo's demeanor. She struggled to put her revelation into words. [Obviously you're not the most patient guy in Ikebukuro, quite the opposite, you've proved that. So, that means… if your relationship with Izaya-] Shizuo snarled involuntarily, but Celty refused to be deterred- [was purely about hatred and revenge, you would have lost interest already. Ah, but it's not that I think you have a short attention span! It would wear down anyone quickly enough.] Celty added the last part hastily, not wanting to sound as if she was patronizing her friend.

Shizuo's upper lip curled and he stiffened. Celty could not help but be reminded of a feral dog. "Of course it's just about hatred! In case you didn't hear me the first twenty _thousand_ times, I'll spell it out again: _I hate Orihara Izaya and I will kill that bastard myself the first chance I get!" _

_Flash! There was a rush of air at the right of her body, as if _something _had just dashed to her side. There was a rambled hissing breathed onto her shoulder, almost sounding like words._

She twisted abrubtly to look and... nothing. There was no one there. Was this some kind of alien invasion? Were they trying to probe her? Oh no!

_There was the touch of an invisible hand at the space her temple would be and her fear was gone. It was not soothing, it was as if someone had reached into her inner heart and ripped her fear from her. She almost instantly missed it, feeling as the guiding presence no longer driving her was disconcerting. But the hand was not done, pressing an image of Shizuo to the forefront of her mind with great urgency. And then the presence was gone. And then... _

What had she just been thinking about? Ah, Shizuo, of course! That was it! She returned her attention to him, and then frowned inwardly. When had it been elsewhere?

Despite her intentions of not angering one of the only people in the world who had a chance at taking her in a serious one-on-one fight, her fingers seem to suddenly gain a mind of their own. Words flew from her like never before, as if she were very agitated, as if this discussion were personal, as if it were of great import that she won this argument. [Then why are you getting so defensive, Shizuo?]

He staggered back as she hopped from her bike and advanced on him. "Uh, hey, Celty, what're you-"[You always say that all you want to do to Izaya is kill him, and you're more than capable! So _why_ is he still alive?]

Shizuo fumbled, startled by the dullahan's sudden mood swings. Was she on her period or something? …. Did she even get those? "Hey, he's a slippery bastard-"

[Don't make excuses! You've had plenty of chances! You aren't really trying! You don't actually want to kill him or you wouldn't hold back!]

"_Celty_!" Shizuo grabbed her by her shoulders as gently as was possible for him and shoved her away. She had been so caught up in her tirade she'd never ceased pressing closer to get in his face. As it was they had been chest to chest already. He kept his hands there, holding her at arm's length, just in case she forgot the concept of personal space without warning again. "_Okay, _Celty, I get it, okay? _I get it, _now tell me. Why? Why would I go easy on him?"

Celty's chest heaved outward and she held it there, as if she had taken a deep breath and was preparing for a huge dive.

[Shizuo, you like Izaya.]


	2. Denial

**So I typed this up real quick today when I got home, since I conveniently forgot that progress reports go home today so... My mom's been threatening to take my computer away if I didn't improve on some grades... I just wanted to be able to update and warn you guys before she gets home. JUST in case she actually does do the unthinkable! So, just don't expect a real quick update, but I will do my best to type up chapter three! Cross your fingers! Now unto the story! **

**C**elty watched Shizuo's face anxiously for a reaction. What had possessed her to say _that_? The thought fled her mind almost immediately. Nothing had possessed her. What a silly thing to think. She had said what she wanted to. At least, she thought she had wanted to say it….

Shizuo was mimicking her, staring her down, not moving a muscle. And then he threw his head back and roared with laughter.

Celty flinched, shocked, at her own words and the blonde's reactions, it was all starting to wear down on her. She stepped away from him, just in case he truly had just taken leave of his senses. As soon as she thought that, Celty felt a little twinge in her chest. There were enough crazy people in this town; she'd hate for him lose to it too. She was sick of all the craziness. Shizuo was of the only people as freakish as she was, and no matter how understanding Shinra was, he'd never have to _feel_ it. The desperate yearn for someone who could empathize fully. Anything less felt like pity.

The Dullahan found she could watch her friend listlessly.

Finally, the blonde seemed to gain control of himself again, lowering his head and facing Celty. "That was a good one Celty! You really had my going there! Almost thought you were serious."

Celty wasn't stupid. She noted the discomfiture in his voice. She opted to keep quiet, and his face flushed slowly with unease. Shizuo was an undoubtedly incompetent liar; not that it was his fault. He just had no experience at it.

Shizuo's face contorted oddly, appearing almost like a smile, but his eyebrows were furrowed, the skin around his mouth drawn too tightly outward. He raised a hand to pat her shadow cloaked shoulder awkwardly. "You weren't serious. Why would I try to kill someone I liked?" He tried for a smile again, and even succeeded a little. "Silly," he admonished.

Celty's hand flashed up, her little silence over apparently.

[Attention.]

Shizuo dropped the smile, going carefully neutral. "What do you-"

[It's obvious what I mean, Shizuo!], Celty interrupted. She felt bad straight away, piling all this on her poor friend, and then being snappish with him. He probably just needed space right now.

[You wanted his attention, for what I don't know-] she had quite a few guesses, but she'd rather not assume anything [-but you wanted it and you have it.]

Oh God, Celty did not like where this was going (even though she was the one steering the conversation). How would she react if she found that her friend had genuine 'feelings' for Izaya? Hell, he seemed as clueless as she, how would _he _react? Ugh, but she was assuming again.

One thing was rock solid in her mind though.

Shizuo liked Izaya. Maybe not in the way most people would surmise but he did.

Celty wondered what Izaya might do if he found out, and shuddered.

Whatever it was, it wouldn't be pretty. He always had to go be the dastardly villain. Oh, what if he made fun of Shizuo? What if he made sport of his feelings?

Celty was surprised how much that bothered her. Since when had she become so protective of Ikebukuro's fortissimo? It wasn't like she could go around holding his hand and usher him away from every jerk who wanted to hurt him. And he wouldn't have stood for being babysat anyway.

[Why don't you just go home and … think about this?] the dullahan suggested, aiming for gentleness.

The blonde had been silent through all of this speculation, but now he glared at her. "I'm not a child who needs to go sit in the corner to think", he huffed sullenly, and Celty would have smiled if she could. No, definitely no babysitter for him.

Celty nodded her helmet, turned to walk away, and just as quickly turned back. [Shizuo, I'm sorry.]

Shizuo just blinked. "Huh?"

[When you were telling me your story, you were very sure of yourself. You understood your life well, and could shrug off whatever you didn't] Celty shrugged as if to emphasize her point. [I think I might have just complicated things greatly for you.] With that, she turned, mounted Shooter, and sped off.

Shizuo stared after her until she was out of sight, then turned to leave himself, slowly making his way back into the overpopulated jumble of crowds that made up most of his town. "Like Izaya, huh? You're crazier than I thought, Celty."

Shizuo was just passing an overhanging walkway making his way back to his apartment when, speak of the devil; there was a flash of tan fur above him. Mocha brown eyes rose haltingly to meet a much rustier shade almost bordering on red.

Those eyes regarded him casually, before their owner smirked maliciously and took off.

When had that flea gotten back to 'Bukuro? Tch, what did it matter? Shizuo knew a challenge when he saw one. It didn't matter _when, _he was _there_ already. Well, the blonde would take care of _that_.

"Yeah, I want his attention alright. I want his full attention when I finally bash his face in."

The body guard leaned forward on his tiptoes, ready to give chase. Then he paused deliberately, considering.

"But you were sure as hell right about one thing Celty."

...

"I _have_ been going too easy on the little bastard. No more excuses! I swear, I will have you this time!"

With that, the eternal game of cat and mouse began once more.

XXX

Standing at the edge of the sidewalk, bright, excited eyes watched the blonde take off. The owner of these eyes grinned, jubilant. "_The plan is off to a perfect start," _she sang to herself in her unearthly soprano. It hummed away from her only to bounce back like an echo, as if she were surrounded in a personal soundproof bubble. She skipped off, literally dissolving into the crowd, disappearing entirely.

…

What appeared to be a preteen boy made its way to the spot the strange girl had just relinquished. He gazed blankly after her, and none around him took any notice of him, just like they had ignored the girl before him.

"_Plan, you say? Ah, so you have been meddling with the humans again? You're just as bad as they. I dare say this calls for some discipline. Do forgive me if I spoil your little game, sister." _


	3. Meddling

**I'm sorry guys, I've been bad! -.-'' I've been busy... I meant to upload this at school today during lunch, but the freaking school computers wouldn't let me log in, so meh. Then there was anime club, which took two hours to attend and three hours to chat about to my non-anime-club-going-anime-lover-friends... Yeah, shame on me for being lazy.**

**Also! I totally forgot to mention this before, but if anyone notices any errors of any kind in my stories, _please_ point them out! If you don't I'll just feel like even more of a dumbass if I notice them on my own later! I went back and read the first two chapters and had to fix a bunch of mistakes! Pointing out errors is good! It means you're paying attention to my story I've put so much effort into! You'll get a cookie if you do!**

Shizuo was having a bad day.

Obviously, as a bodyguard, there's no point explaining that it's a dangerous job- you're _guarding_ someone's body for a reason. But there's also the long hours, being on your feet all the time, annoying clients, blah blah, etcetera and so on. And no matter how much the public consensus affirms that supernatural strength automatically accompanies supernatural endurance- it doesn't. It was just as harrowing for him as it was for anyone else. But it just wasn't in Shizuo's nature to go whining about his troubles- so he'd just bottle it up. Did it seem like he took out all his anger on his (completely deserving) victims?

Yeah right!

If he did that they'd be dead. Hope you're not waiting for the punch line, this is totally serious.

And for someone of his physical prowess, it was absolutely _never _a good idea to go bottling up emotion. It's bound to come out eventually- and none too quietly either. You should be imagining something along the line of a nuclear explosion right now.

So, for Shizuo, a normal person's bad day was every day. And for a normal person Shizuo's every day was bad- no scratch that; an 'every day' day for Shizuo was a bad day for a normal person suddenly riddled with miserly clients, attacking gangs and the occasional _lovely _visit from a sadistic bastard flea.

That being said, if Shizuo thinks his day was bad, it wasn't bad at all.

It's fucking apocalyptic.

Okay, maybe that's a little exaggerated. Maybe.

Apparently it was 'National Greedy Bastard' day, and no one had deigned to inform him. _Nobody _seemed to be forking up the cash today. And, damn, they could at least think of an original excuse. The next person who says 'I don't get paid till next Friday' is getting a fractured collarbone.

Then there was that guy, old-what's-his-name. He'd been wailing on and on about how his younger brother had been diagnosed with onset Leukemia and how expensive chemo was. Shizuo had actually been about to back off the guy-he had a little brother to think of too, after all- when Tom had cheerfully pointed out he was fully aware that Mr.-What's-his-name had no siblings.

And it was probably a very good idea that Tom waited to tell Shizuo that they had mentioned Kasuka in passing at their last meet with that client- so it was very likely he'd fabricated his little brother story specifically for Shizuo, after the ambulance had driven off.

And amid all the frustration and suppressed rage, the blonde had an odd moment of despair.

What if one of Tom's shady clients really did have some sick little brother they had to look after? He wouldn't be able to tell the real deal from those crying wolf. Damn it, what was this damn world coming to?

Coming from anyone else, that could have been a perfectly normal thought, or just an odd moment of poeticism. But coming from Shizuo, it was a shock. Especially for Shizuo. Normally he would have pounded the guy, been pissed for, maybe another twenty minutes and gotten over it.

Ever since Celty had talked about complicating his life, he'd been over thinking _everything. _Everything suddenly had a double meaning; nothing existed just because it did anymore. There was a purpose to everything now: the placement of security cameras, the homeless on the street, the cracks in the fucking sidewalk!

…

Great, now he was over thinking about over thinking. Celty, what the hell have you done to me?

After all that, surely the day could just end peacefully, and he could go home and pretend that his current lifestyle didn't bother him in the slightest. Not that that was a new problem though….

Of course, when is life ever fair? Especially to its misfits.

Just as the day was finally winding to its end, the same group of insolent thugs who called themselves Dollars came running back for more. Not only had the need for violence once again irritated Shizuo, but in his new perception of the world, they weren't just a group of dumbasses anymore.

They were a barrier.

The scene of beating back body after assaulting body had been so eerily similar to when he had been brushing them off to rush after Izaya; he had wholly expected the louse to just appear.

The sheer disappointment that rushed over the blonde was staggering.

And _normally_, this feeling wouldn't have bothered him. _Normally_ he would chalk it up to missing a chance to go for the kill.

But this wasn't normal. Right now Shizuo felt anything but normal.

The bodyguard half sighed, half growled, cursing Celty in his mind. What had she done to him?

"Tch, 'snot her fault. It's the flea's. Everything will be fine after he's dead…" he grumbled to himself.

With the last fight of the day done and his patience dwindling rapidly, he caved and called it a day, waving vaguely to his boss over his shoulder as he trudged off. They knew each other well enough that there was no problem with this.

"Geez, what a shitty day."

xxx

In plain sight but as unseen as always, the same strange little girl frowned to herself, gnawing at her bottom lip.

"Shizuo-kun is right, that was an oddly bad day. Hmm, but why? I didn't plan any of that… People around him just become ill tempered and unreasonable around him lately… Could it be they're just afraid of him? No, this isn't just coincidence; someone's trying to set him off. But-why?

The girl thought and thought for quite a while, long enough for her subject of interest to get home, kick off his shoes and crawl into bed.

Without a thought of privacy or ethics, she waltzed into his apartment, plopping down on his bedside and watching him drift to sleep. He paid as much attention to her asleep as everyone else did awake.

Finally, just when had been under long enough to enter REM sleep, she spoke:

"Well, whatever is going on, I won't let it interfere with the Plan. Please be patient with me, Shizuo-kun. This'll be a difficult road for you, but you will walk it. Just please try and meet me halfway- I don't want to force you, but-"

She broke off, grinning. "Let's just not think of that for now!"

And she leaned down, close enough to brush the blonde's ear with her lips.

"So get your beauty sleep, okay? I think we'll go ahead with phase two of the Plan tomorrow!"

With a giggle the girl was gone, but her effect remained, and just as commanded, Shizuo did sleep well.

Almost as if he was subconsciously agreeing with her Plan.

Or perhaps... submitting to a higher order?


	4. Setback

**Look whose updating! :D **

***Sigh* I'm sorry this took a while, guys. I wrote out this chapter in two **_**very **_**different ways, and took forever deciding which one was superior…**

**Well, anyway, *checks email* OHMYGOSH YOU GUYS! What's with all the notifications! Jk, I love it, thanks for letting me know you're reading! I appreciate it!**

**I'm thinking about making Saturdays my official update day, tell me what you think!**

**RavenBlackRoses: Yeah, other people have said that too, it's just the way I think… ^_^''**

**Unknown Variable: Yep, they can't hear her. Err, yeah, Indian-Asian means Asian for me. And, well, actually, I'm not doing anyone's specific PoV, I'm just showing their thoughts in the third-person. But, I will be writing more Izaya-centered chapters soon!**

**Amara-nii chan and icywarm: Thanks, I'll update whenever possible!**

**Ugh, another long Authors Note. **

For some reason Shizuo had sprung from bed that morning. For some reason he hadn't slammed down on his snooze button repeatedly, though usually by the second or third ring it had already been smashed beyond recognition.

This morning was different, but why?

Truly, he had been resting peacefully, but ever since around five o'clock his sleep had turned fitful and uneasy. He'd tensed all over, listening for any excuse to be up. When he heard the alarm that usually annoyed him, it had been a relief.

So many things had been unusual for him lately, so why worry anymore?

xxx

"You looking cheerful today," Tom observed astutely.

Shizuo shrugged, the picture of nonchalance.

"Got a good night's rest, is all."

"Uwaaa, that actually works? I had no idea, Shizu-chan! And here I thought my mother was just making up that whole 'eight hours' crap."

!

"IIIIIIIIZZZAAAYAAAAAAAA!"

"Good morning to you, too, Shizu-chan!"

The informant stood downwind from them, and as always, seemed to have appeared from thin air. It must be a great way to travel, since Izaya utilized that mode of transportation so often.

"Ah, I was kidding just now-my mother would never care enough to even be around, let alone lecture me on healthy sleeping habits! But that was convenient for me, didn't want her sticking her nose in my business anyway! Besides, I'm a bit of a health nut, so-"

"Shut the hell up and get out of Ikebukuro!"

The bodyguard shot forward an instant before the informant spun to dash across the busy street, predicting his move before Izaya had himself. They shot down an alleyway, onto another busy street, dangerously close. Shizuo nearly grabbed Izaya by the arm, but had his hand slashed away at. He reluctantly pulled back a little. Not that it hurt enough for him to admit defeat, but Izaya wasn't one to hold back, and he preferred to keep his arm attached to the rest of him. He curled his hand into a fist to slow the bleeding, but persisted in the chase as always.

'The louse has the nerve to ruin my good mood, so he can't complain when I ruin his face!'

And for one moment, one _moment_ -_for just one short second- _Shizuo thought he knew the reason. The reason everything had been feeling so different lately. Why he'd woken with such an unusually cheerful mood for his recent circumstances.

That moment, when the one he hated most twisted to run around another corner and his left foot slid through a shallow puddle, spinning him in a half circle, and to keep from falling he was forced to lurch to his right.

Forcing him to into an awkward half crouch, his momentum swinging him right into Shizuo.

'What?' Shizuo thought, incredulous for a split second. The _flea_ slipped? But how?' And then, as the realization hit him with more force than the truck the flea had run him down with, a cruel euphoria rushed through him. 'This is it!'

And for this joyous moment, that was all Shizuo could think: 'This is it this is it this is it-'

The informant's upper body was bent, his unruly black hair obscuring his expression.

'Shame! Would've been great to see his face when I finally wipe that smirk off his fucking face! _This is it_! _I finally have him!-' _

And then, the moment passed, and reality rushed back, crushing the vicious joy that had sprung up in the bodyguard's thoughts.

Reality had come in the form of Izaya's foot. Or more specifically, as Izaya's foot as he'd straightened out his crouch, planted his skidding foot, and as momentum had slid him past Shizuo, he swung up his other leg in an instant, slamming his foot across Shizuo's face.

Yeah, reality's pretty harsh like that.

Izaya, lithe body twisting through the air with grace that would have ballerinas going green with envy, had no human way to see Shizuo's face crumble into a mask of hurt.

Of course, this wasn't 'paper cut' or 'stubbed toe' or even 'roundhouse kick to the face' hurt.

This was the hurt you feel when life comes along to crush something you've worked and strived for.

'…. That was it…. My chance! He was almost in my arms! And I still can't beat him. He still has the upper hand. What am I saying, when _doesn't_ he!'

The blonde was frozen, stuck in a hunched position. He hadn't even raised a hand to feel his red cheek.

"Haha, so even a monster like you feels pain once in a while, huh? That's good to know!" Izaya took off, not taking a second glance at Shizuo. He took off around the corner and out of sight.

He didn't see Shizuo straighten up, turn around and walk back the way they had come.

The bodyguard had almost returned to Tom by the time Izaya had realized he wasn't being pursued and turned to run back to him.

"What the hell, Shizu-chan? Trying to ruin my fun?" 'If he is, he's obviously wised up all of a sudden. Nothing could be more irritating than a tame monster. Boring~!'

With an obvious effort, Shizuo turned and glared at him.

"Ooooh~, what a scary face Shizu-chan! Scary! But you've always been a scary monster, haven't you?" Despite the teasing, Izaya actually was a bit frightened. 'He's just glaring… and not even a death glare or a 'Get-hell-out-of-Ikebukuro' glare. It looks forced. Since when does Shizuo need to force himself to hate me?'

As if in support of his thoughts Shizuo spoke, but without a bit of his formerly immeasurable hatred for the informant. "Look, I just want you out of my life. Can't you manage that? Or even try?"

His opponent frowned, sensing a trap. "Shi~zu~o~, what fun would that be? Or have you gotten tired of me? Oh no, Shizu-chan! You mean too much to me for that!" He clutched his own chest dramatically, looking stricken.

No one was really close enough to hear their conversation (No one was dumb enough to try and get that close), but if anyone had been, they would shook their heads at Izaya's pure bullshit.

Shizuo's head lowered, as if he had expected such a response. "Should've known you'd be such a dick about it. Fine, whatever. Do what you want."

Izaya's face went blank. Well, it had been rather unexpected.

Shizuo turned again and made his way back to his boss.

xxx

"W-what just _happened_?" Since the odd young girl had been anticipating her subjects' confrontation, she'd been following them closer than usual, which was hardly safe for a girl of her size, probably only coming up to Izaya's chest (though they wouldn't have taken notice if she'd literally stood directly under their noses), waiting for the perfect instance to intervene. But when she'd seen Shizuo looking so defeated, she found herself shocked motionless.

"How could he defy me?" And then, in a sudden unreasonable rage, "How _dare_ he!"

There was a low chuckle behind her, and then hands gripped her shoulders before she could turn to the sound, keeping her facing forward. "My, my, what a temper you have. You used to be such a levelheaded lady. Whatever happened to dignity, Sister?"

The girl gasped. "You-!"

"Really now, you else could have possibly hoped to achieve what I have, Sister, without even being discerned? None noticed me, not that beast, not that schemer, not even you. I must say, you must be slipping, or mayhap you've merely grown lax with the years?"

"Hey, for one, I'm _not_ old! Or at least, not any older than you. Two, Shizuo isn't a beast, he's human and you know it. Three, I'm not slipping, I was concentrated on- on something else! And four, nobody says 'mayhap'!"

The boy merely seemed to grow more amused with his sister's little tirade, releasing her and stepping back, smirking a bit but remaining dignified all the while. The girl whirled around, facing him now, mouth open to snap another retort, when she stopped, frowning.

"Hey- wait…. Achieved?" Her eyes narrowed at him. "What exactly are you trying to achieve, Brother?" She asked condescendingly, her voice lowering on the last word to adopt the tone and the manner he'd used whenever he'd addressed her.

"Oh, come now, it isn't all that complex, surely you can puzzle it out? Or should big brother walk you through the mechanics of simple logic?" He'd countered, mimicking her higher tenure just as she had done with his.

"You don't want my plan to work out," she stated flatly, glaring at him. In truth, she really hadn't wanted to accept that her brother would attempt to counter her. And even more than that, she didn't want to accept the sense of betrayal pervading her.

He'd raised his delicate, long fingered hands, intending to applaud her. She slapped them back down impatiently, her small face flushing darkly. "Don't make fun of me!"

He sighed, his good humor dissipating, but he remained unruffled. "No need for such childish antics. Especially for those who have never experienced childhood," He murmured, turning to the side to leer at her. "But, since I intend to soon take leave of this world and all its filth, I shan't beat about the bush any longer."

She huffed, but waited for his explanation, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"It's as you've suspected, I wish to disrupt your plan- Ah ah, no interrupting," he said, raising his hand to cover her open mouth.

She thrust his hand away from her face, ignoring his protest. "I'm doing this for _us_! I'm doing it for them!" She waved her hand free hand franticly at the unsuspecting crowds of Ikebukuro. "I've worked so hard, to try and protect _everyone_, and you're trying to stop-"

"Firstly," he cut off smoothly, pulling his arm free and placing it back over her mouth, "You've barely just thought of your little plan. You haven't worked 'so hard' at it. And as for protecting everyone," he snorted delicately, "There is no danger in the imminent future, and even if there _was_, we wouldn't be intervening. And we shouldn't be intervening now. The best way we can protect them and us, is to go our separate ways. They've ignored our existence steadily for, dear me, centuries. It's only logical that we should do the same."

The girl slapped away his hand again, spinning on her heel and stalking off. "You're just a coward, so you won't act. But I will, because it's our duty," she whispered, before vanishing once again. She knew he could hear her.

Smiling again, he stared after her casually. "Call me what you wish, protest all you like, even if you fight me, you can't win. This 'Shizuo' of yours didn't even sense my presence in his mind."

And he was gone.

**I suck at writing fights you guys. I don't even know what to say T_T That sucked… It wasn't even a fight, it's a random flail of my mind, aaaaaaaaaaargh…. And omg random girl stop talking so much you annoooooy meeeeee! She will talk less in the future, I promise!**


	5. Investigation

**Hehe, I know I said I'd update Saturday, but I finished and I just wanted to update so... Here it is! And, omg you guys, why can't some people understand that you can't profit from fanfiction? Because you don't own it if you have to write fanfics, duh!**

**Shizuo: You mean _you _don't own it?**

**Me: Shut up! *sniffles* you don't have to rub it in... **

**Izaya: Way to finally put a Disclaimer in your story...**

**Me: I forgot, okay? And yeah, in case any of you guys noticed, I forgot the Disclaimer earlier, but here it is: I DO NOT OWN DRRR!**

**Shizuo: Thank God!**

**Me: Hey!**

**Shizuo: Well, if you did, the flea and I would always be having se-**

**Izaya: Shut up and let them read!**

**Me: Okay, enough rambling, enjooooy~!**

"Shizu-chan! Hey Shizuuuu-chan! This isn't like you at all~! Hey you protozoan, are you even listening to me?" The annoyed informant rushed up to wave his hand in his favorite plaything's face. "It's rude to ignore people, Shizu-chan! But then again, I always knew you had the manners of a monster. Make sense, since you are one-!" Izaya broke off in a gasp as Shizuo reached out to grip his forearms.

"Shizu-chan?" 'Damn! Should have known it was just an act to throw me off!' Izaya thought frantically for an escape from his current situation.

To his shock, Shizuo merely lifted him from his path, turned to the side and set him back down on his feet out of the way. Then he turned again, making his way to Tom casually. His steps were slow and his body language calm, like he'd completely forgotten of his mortal enemy's existence entirely.

Izaya gaped at his retreating back, before coming to his senses and rushing after him.

"Shizu-chan! What kind of game are you playing? I don't like it!" He whined rushing after the other man.

"Shizu-chan?" Shizu-chan! What's happening?" Izaya felt his legs slowing without his permission, as if his body was shutting off while his mind remained aware. He did _not_ like the feeling. "Shizu- ah, Shizuo! I can't move over here! Ah.…" The bodyguard continued on, and even if he had stopped, what would Izaya have said? He couldn't ask for help, his pride wouldn't have allowed it.

And if he did, who in their right mind would stop to assist Orihara Izaya?

He wasn't frozen or numb, he was raring to go! So why couldn't he move? It was like the Gods had evidently decided to deal out punishment to all the dastardly fiends of Ikebukuro, and started with the worst of the worst. And what better sentence than to be struck unmoving in the middle of the street where anyone could do anything to him? And he'd pissed of more than ninety percent of the population of Japan….

'Shit! I hate this feeling! I'm supposed to be a God! Gods are supposed to be judges, not judged!'

Then the streets, the people, everything in his field of vision turned murky and blurred. It was as if the world was dissolving! The shadows that hid in daylight flowed outward, swallowing the buildings, the streets; everything was turning into solid blackness. Izaya struggled in the grip of whatever held him in place fiercely, desperate for escape now.

Having succeeded in imprisoning the informant in a seemingly endless abyss, the hungry shadows, now one great and terrible entity, turned to swallow him next. He became trembling in his fragile little circle of light as it circled closer. "No! Stay away!"

Responding to his call the Shadow leaped forward, slamming him back and out of his tiny sanctum, wrapping him in its expanse and squeezing, like an anaconda.

Ensconced in the freezing hold, Izaya lost all coherency, screaming for all his worth. Annoyed, the sentient shadows tightened its lifeless coils, squeezing the air from his lungs. Izaya choked, gasping for breath as the Shadow creeped up his neck and reached his jaw line. He managed to find enough breath to scream again just as the Shadow covered his mouth. He ended up with a muffled squeak.

'Wonderful. The great Orihara Izaya, going out, not with a bang, but with a squeak. Not how I planned this…'

Right before he was swallowed entirely, the informant thought to look up, to see the miserable world that had finally tired of all his antics and decided the best way to be rid of him was to swallow him whole one last time.

He did not see what he expected.

A young girl, separate and apart from the Shadow, watching him with a blank, almost bored expression.

But when she saw him stare back, she doubled back, yelping as if slapped. She turned from him and ran, terrified.

'Strange girl….' That was the infamous informant's last thought before the Shadow pulled him under.

XXX

The informant lurched up off his office desk, gasping.

'A dream…?' He thought wonderingly. Then he snorted and reprimanded himself. 'Of course it was a dream! I would never scream, and Shizu-chan would never just walk away from me!' Assured and confident again, the informant turned to his laptop to get back to work.

And deflated immediately.

His laptop was open to his most recent document, labeled 'The Heiwajima Shizuo Crisis'. Where he'd been brainstorming what possible affliction Shizuo could be suffering from that could be severe enough to cause such a reaction….

The document was nearly entirely blank.

He sighed heavily. 'Not a dream. Well, some of it wasn't.'

"Geez, what a shitty day."

Namie huffed in agreement from her place on the couch sorting through her boss's mail. She'd actually been rather relaxed recently since Izaya had stopped pestering her just for the fun of it. But then again, any day she had to around her boss and away from her beloved Seiji was a shitty day for Namie.

Though it had looked up a little when she'd gotten to film Izaya flailing and whimpering on his desk in the grips of his nightmare. _That_ would make very good blackmail.

Izaya ignored her entirely, as he had been doing frequently lately, to her blatant relief. She had no earthly clue as to what could be perturbing enough to put him in such disquiet, but whatever it was, she was grateful.

Ever since that day-could it really have only been last week?-Izaya had run around in circles, trying to catch his own racing thoughts. 'Was Shizuo _high_? Is he messing with me? Did he come down with some kind of illness that systems include dual personalities? Maybe the pressure of freakdom finally got to him?' Just as it seemed he was able to control himself and organize his own sense of reasoning again, these thoughts would tear off again, leaving him befuddled in their wake. They'd tease him in this fashion his every waking hour, promising to answer the question-_What was wrong with Shizuo?_ After it had been nearly a week and he hadn't completed any work or even bothered to "check on" his lovely humans, he accepted that he was being overly obsessive.

No, not obsessed with Shizuo himself. Merely with the conundrum his existence presented.

The thought did not frighten him. And why should it? As soon as he discovered what made Shizuo so un-Shizuo-like, he'd be over it. It'd probably be something inanely domestic and commonplace, and he'd laugh at himself for expending so much effort thinking about it in the first place.

He spun and spun in his chair over and over. Whirling till he couldn't see straight. He found that this practice neither improved nor hindered his thinking process.

'Well, if I haven't been able to figure it out with all my amazing brain power and information networks, then I'll just have to go find more data to begin my experimentation.' With that resolve firmly in mind, he rose from his seat, shrugged into his signature jacket, and stumbled out of his office. Which-given that he'd been spinning in chairs since he was old enough to sit in them, and the dizziness could never slow him before (not to mention that he knew his office like the back of his hand) was all a show for Namie's sake. "Bye bye Namie-chan!" He'd called giddily, almost drunkenly, slamming the door behind him. 'Hehe, she won't have any doubt about my sanity _now_.'

XXX

*Knock* *Knock*

"Hey Shinra! I need to have a serious talk with you!" Despite his own request for seriousness, the words were said lightly, almost laughingly, the way Izaya always spoke. Hearing that clearly through his front door, Shinra decided not to rush to greet his old friend, concluding that it couldn't all that serious. Shinra groaned, straightened up from his curled position on his couch, and dragged himself to the door.

Upon opening, Izaya marched in without invitation, sat in the middle of the couch, and crossed his legs before even bothering to look at his friend. When he did look, he couldn't help but grin. "You look like hell."

Shinra was not amused. "Thanks…" he drawled. Then: "Makes sense, I feel like hell."

"Ehhhhh~? Shinra has problems too~? Sorry~, I came here for some info, not to hear your sob stories," Izaya jeered, grinning.

Shinra didn't even blink. "Fine. What do you need to know?" he snapped, irritated.

Izaya shifted in his seat, uncomfortable suddenly. "Whoa, now. Shizuo's gone all mild and unresponsive and now Shinra's gotten serious? Don't tell me the apocalypse is about to unfold, heh?" He chuckled, albeit uneasily.

"I can be serious if I want Izaya," Shinra countered, already exasperated.

"Nope, definitely not. Silly Shinra, come here, sit down," Izaya breathed soothingly, standing and striding over to Shinra, pushing him over to the couch, forcing him into the spot he'd just vacated. Then he kneeled in front of him, shaking his raven black hair out of his face. "Go on, tell me all about it. I can't have one of my only friends getting all gloomy on me. Really Shinra, think of others before you get all depressed!"

"Oh so sorry, what am I thinking, I'll try and be less selfish. And of course _you'd_ be the beacon of light to guide me from such moral transgressions," Shinra said sarcastically. But he did smile a bit. "You're not really the therapist type, so don't even waste your time."

"No, uh-uh, you're not getting out of this that easily!" Izaya chided, placing his elbows on the others knees and cupping his own face in his hands, staring into his friend's face in an overdone pose of rapt attention. "Now, _tell me_, I'll get my own business done better once I know anyway."

Shinra leaned back against the couch, away from Izaya's face, which had been awkwardly close to his own. He wasn't sure if he liked this new, considerate, touchy feely Izaya. It was kinda creepy.

"Fine, okay, and then you leave me to sort out my own problems like the grown man I am." Izaya's bright eyes glinted mischievously at that, but politely refrained from commenting on the 'grown man' bit.

"Well… It's about Celty. Er, Celty's behavior lately, she's, um, how do I say this politely?" His eyes darted around the room, settling on the door to his personal office, where the informant assumed Celty must be. The informant patted Shinra's thighs to regain his attention; he was more than a little irked at the little snub- 'I so rarely showed any sort of kindness, and this is how I'm being reciprocated. No wonder I never do this!' But he stayed silent. He was anything but stupid, and he'd noticed that most people were-for some reason- agitated by his voice.

"Ah, right, so lately," Shinra continued, subtly sifting Izaya's hands off of his person by sliding back against the couch, "she's been acting like- well, damn, it's almost like those aliens she would always rave about came abducted her. She's the identical clone they left behind to ease suspicion…" His eyes returned to the office door, as if Celty-the normal Celty- would run out and hit him for mocking her aliens. When she didn't: "I mean, I know I can't go trying to diagnose her like I would a human-but it's like she's depressed or something! I don't know- maybe depressed is the wrong word for it. She… doesn't really want to do anything anymore. She doesn't ride her bike if she's not on a job, she stopped watching T.V. and-And! The other day when I thought that maybe she was depressed because she wasn't making any progress in the search for her head_- She said that it didn't matter_." Shinra gasped, having forgotten to breathe as all the worries he'd been harboring lately rushed out.

And out to Izaya of all people! Shinra bit back a whimper. 'He's gonna troll me so bad…'

He peeked at Izaya warily, bracing himself for the torture, and was shocked to see the utter seriousness on the other's face. "Um… so, what do you think I should do…?"

Izaya's face tightened a bit. "It's not just Celty acting weird, Shinra. Last week, Shizu-chan and I were going at it the same way we always do, and he just suddenly lost interest. He was a whole other person. Like flipping a light switch. From that moment on, nothing I said even interested him. So he's either gone deaf, or there's something else going on and it's targeting Celty and Shizu-chan. Or it's really the aliens. And, no offense, but I'm doubting aliens had anything to do with it."

"Hey, the 'aliens' thing was Celty's idea, not mine, okay," Shinra defended, chuckling tiredly.

"So, do you think it's really connected?

"I don't know. I didn't even realize about Shizuo…" He trailed off, feeling guilty for not even noticing his friend's behavior.

Izaya saw the look on his face and smiled tightly. "Hey, you had a lot on your mind lately. It would slip anyone's mind." 'Well, not mine, but one of my dim little humans, sure.'

Shinra finally mustered the courage to speak his mind. "No offense, but, um, why're you being so nice all of a sudden?"

To his relief Izaya merely laughed. "Well, you weren't really acting like yourself about five minutes ago either." Then he appeared to think it over again. "I suppose even I have moments of weakness," He mused dryly.

"You shouldn't regard anything resembling kindness as weakness," Shinra murmured gravely.

Izaya shrugged, neither agreeing nor arguing the point.

"Obviously you're feeling better! And if that's all I can learn from this little detour, I'll be going now!" Izaya announced cheerfully, pulling himself off the floor, making a beeline for the door, not even taking the time to put on his jacket since he never removed it in the first place.

"Wait Izaya!"

He paused, already halfway through the door. "Yeah? You better make it quick, that little moment of weakness was fleeting, you know."

Shinra heard the concealed threat clearly and gulped. The real Izaya was back. 'If only Celty was that resilient,' he thought, sighing.

"Just, uh, where are you going now?"

Izaya grinned. Yep, he was definitely back.

"Isn't it obvious Shinra? I'm going to go find out what's wrong with Shizu-chan! And what better way to get the uncensored, juicy details than from the source himself!"

Shinra face palmed. _Definitely_ back. "Okay, but be careful, and don't provoke him-!"

His front door slamming shut fully illustrated just how much heed his warnings would be paid.

Shinra sighed again. "That damn informant, using my depression as a means to ring info from me… And here I thought he could change, that little-!"

The underground doctor yelped and jumped as 'that little_ something' _poked his head back through his door. "Wha-! "

"I know you probably realize this, so let me just remind you that if-"he paused to wave his currently sheathed switchblade and smirk-"any word of my _kindness _this evening slips out, to _anyone_, you'll have to find a new profession! And possibly a new address!"

With that _much_ less concealed threat, he was gone. For real this time.

'_Hope you'll be glad to see me, Shizu-chan!'_

**EDIT: CHAPTER 6 MAY BE SLOWER COMING DUE TO AN INJURY. I APOLOGIZE FOR FORSEEN FUTURE LATENESS. ALSO, CHAPTER ONE OF APOSTASY IS NOW ON DEVIANTART. I SHALL POST A LINK AT A LATER TIME. THANK YOU FOR READING. ~3/9/12~**


	6. Reconciliations

**In this chapter _italicized words_ are Izaya's thoughts. But only in this chapter. Get it? Got it? Good.**

**Edit: Aaaaaand here's the rest of the chapter. Just scroll down past 'XXX'. Everything after that is new. Sorry for posting half a chapter again...**

Pain.

This was all the raven could possibly fathom. He could not muster the strength to think of anything else. Could not garner any self-conscious, as his jet-black wings unfurled to either side of him, desperately snatching at air, seeking to slow his tumult.

Down, down, down. He fell and fell and fell. His skin, used to the tingle and chill of cool air rushing past him, now numb. His eyes, accustomed to always gazing downward, at his humans, whether in love or contempt, now blind. His ears, always greedily devouring every delightful bit of information they could detect, now deaf.

His great wings flapped vainly, anxious to be gone, away from this pain, this fear, this _humanity. _

The raven struggled as well. _That's right. I need to get away from here. Fly off, get away like I always do. I have to get away._

But he was frozen by the grip of the fiery pain. Frozen flames engulfed him, as determined to trap him as he was to escape.

He thrashed in its hold, and in retaliation the pain clamped down on his body forcefully, sinking its teeth in further, slicing flesh and scraping bone. The raven cried out, but the fire was centered in his chest, and he was unable to draw a breath. What might have been a screech to curdle blood came out as an inaudible squeak.

Finally, after what had seemed to be hours of fruitless struggle, the raven's lungs started working again. He gasped, trying to breath around the fire in his chest. But his mouth was full and he choked. He spat to clear it. The raven could breath again. That was good, that was a start. Now he needed to get away. Come up with a clever trick and fly off. Whether he fought with his wit or his claws, it was fine. He'd do anything to be gone! Back to his nest, his home and his world and his humans and his playthings and-

Shizuo. He wanted away from here-and now**. He had to get back to where he was respected, feared, hated. He would _not_ die pitifully here.

He was Orihara Izaya, damn it!

Determined, the raven fought to get to his feet. As soon as he moved the pain lacing his chest shot through his skull. Making him groan and falter. But he obstinately refused to stop. He rolled, freeing his wings from where they'd been pinned beneath him. He tried to discern an escape route, but his eyelids were too heavy to open and his surroundings seemed to be spinning around him. He couldn't tell up from down or left from right.

But it didn't matter. The only direction he needed was _away. _With a tremendous effort, he hauled himself to his hands and knees. He paused there, breathing heavily, each labored breathe feeling like a hammer to the chest, like swallowing nails. More liquid bubbled up his throat, strangling him. He tilted his head downward, allowing it to dribble from his mouth, too tired to spit.

When it seemed clear he inhaled deeply again, tasting the thick metallic tang linger. He grimaced. Whatever. It doesn't matter. He could worry about it when he was home.

Spreading his wings to their full span he moved to get to his feet. But his body wasn't listening to him anymore. The Pain held all its attention now, pounding in his veins, deafeningly loud. The only thing free was his mind. That, and his wings.

_Whatever! It doesn't matter!_

Even if his body stiffened in place, he could overcome it! He could still fly! He only needed his wings!

The raven could feel every one of his feathers straining outward, reaching for the sky, longing for the freedom of flight. They trembled in anticipation, and the raven felt a commiserating shudder run through him as well.

As he prepared himself, he noted with relief that the Pain had begun to ebb. It must be a good sign, the first stroke of luck in this bleak day.

He moved to stand, tensed for the Pain, but there was still nothing. The raven allowed himself a rush of confidence, sure now of escape.

He relaxed himself, coaxing his stiff body to unclench and move. He had to move. He had to leave. _Now!_

His body finally responded to him. Unfortunately.

As soon as his muscles unlocked, the moment when he would have leaped into the sky and taken off, he fell. He staggered forward, trying to catch himself, but there was no strength in his useless legs. He couldn't even lift his arms to buffer his fall.

Smack!

He may as well have plummeted from a skyscraper. The result would have been the same. Face down, inept limbs sprawled awkwardly beneath him, humiliated, feeling his lifeblood leak slowly away.

Only now did he realize where the Pain had gone. It was chased away by the Numbness, along with his strength, his wit, his tricks, and his pride.

His beautiful, free wings still stretched to the sky. His jet-black feathers rustled against one another, screeching with impatience.

Without warning, a wind with the force of a hurricane surged past, screaming in his ears.

Riiiiip.

The raven blanched, the new sound shocking him from the numbness. A dread-filled realization washed over him, and the fresh pain along his shoulder blades only confirmed it.

His fickle, impatient wings had grown tired of him, sick of his weakness, his fragility, his _humanity_.

So at the first opportunity, they'd left him.

He'd been shot and beaten. Abused and insulted. Hunted and attacked.

But he'd never felt this naked, this vulnerable, this lost.

Izaya Orihara had no strength. No wit. No tricks. No pride. Pretty soon he'd have no life.

_Sorry Shizu-chan... I thought I'd get you back... and everything would be fine again. I'd get my nice, privileged information broker life back, and we'd hate each other. Wasn't it fun Shizu-chan? I told you it would be..._

Yes the now ex-raven was very sure of his escape now.

"...s...rry... Shizu..."

After all, how could anyone in his situation not be sure of his own death?

XXX

"NO BROTHER, DON'T-!"

Futa-chan felt her voice die in her throat as her brother ignored her entirely, striking Izaya with far more power than someone three times his size was capable of. A human would have laughed at the sight of a grown man being knocked down by a preteen boy, because that was all they were able to see.

Futa-chan saw the truth.

She watched as the most fearsome immortal she knew struck a mere mortal a killing blow. For a moment everything seemed to play in slow motion, as the raven's features twisted in pain and shock, and he fell, crumpling to the ground. Then time was rushing forward, dizzily fast, trying to make up for the seconds it had lost. As her brother gazed on with an amused smirk, Izaya rolled to his hands and knees, and for a moment it seemed he was ready to spring to his feet, completely unharmed, and tease her for worrying about him. He'd laugh and prove the blood dripping from his mouth and seeping from his shirt meant nothing...

The moment passed, and Izaya collapsed back to the ground. A coldness spread through Futa-chan's as the informant went still. She reached for his mind tentatively, not wanting to leave him lying there if he was still alive but... she was frightened. She had never truly witnessed death before, though she had both been around it her entire existence, and, on occasion, caused it, but she'd always covered her eyes, pretended she was elsewhere, as if doing so would prevent it.

She could not look away now, or her brother would win, Shizuo would never be whole again, and Izaya would...

She would _not _stop here! Even is she had to witness the informant's end, through his eyes, and feel him slip away forever-

_Ah_... she could still feel his presence, though his already vague thoughts were growing slower, changing color, like fresh blood cooling and clotting, turning brown. She morbidly wondered if that was the color his eyes were now, as they dulled and became glazed with death.

Shaking such pessimistic thoughts from her mind, she rushed to the fallen raven's side, dropping to her knees beside him. "Izaya!"

He stirred, quite unexpectedly, and Futa-chan flinched. Leaning close she called "Izaya?" softly, questioningly.

"...s...rry... Shizu..."

Futa-chan patted his shoulder lightly, trying to sound upbeat and calm. "Hey, there's nothing to be sorry for!"

She could not keep her cool however, as her brother strode towards her, hands casually placed on his hips, looking almost bored as he watched them. The girl glared viciously at him, carefully tugging Izaya into her lap and cradling his head protectively. Even a human could see how maternal she was acting towards him, even in her childlike body. Like she had known him all her life, instead of a few hours. Like he was very important to her.

"...Heh."

Her glare (if possible) grew more heated, more hateful. "What's so funny?" she snapped.

"You are, Sister. And the human, as well. The way you have become so distressed over one little human... Actually believing you could fool me! It's laughable."

"Shut up!" She yelled, her voice cracking and sounding almost... whiny. "Why did you do that to him? He was just-!"

"Just what? Breaking our laws? Staining our homeland? Spitting on eons of sacred tradition?"

Futa-chan shook her head slowly, feeling tears prick in her eyes. She sniffed. She knew her brother wasn't talking about just Izaya.

"T-there was n-no harm down, w-we weren't here l-long! A-and it was my i-idea! So..." She trailed off, feeling pathetic. She didn't want to cry over Izaya... _She didn't want Izaya to die! _

"He isn't dead yet, but it won't be long. He wouldn't have to be dying, and you would be so perturbed by his death if had _done what I had said and stayed out of it-"_

"Is that what this is about? You're trying to teach me a _lesson_? You're _sick_!"

The boy-like entity sighed, exasperated. "Not _everything_ revolves around you, Sister."

"But most of it does!" Futa-chan snapped, and immediately regretted it. Here she was, trying to prove she could make wise decisions and hold authority, screaming and whining like a child to get her way.

Her brother chuckled, and it would look to all the world as if they really were just a pair of average siblings, squabbling over a broken toy. A beaten, bleeding, broken toy.

_"It's not funny!"_

"Of course it isn't. Now finish your wailing. You wanted me to explain myself, did you not? I shall not shout over you to be heard."

"I'm not wa-wailing," Futa-chan claimed, but her lie was ruined when her voice trembled. She sniffled loudly once and murmured "I'm not."

"Of course," he assured, and he stepped over to her, forcing her to crane her neck to hold his gaze. Coming closer to Futa-chan inevitably brought him closer to Izaya, causing his impromptu protector to tense, curling low over Izaya's body, attempting to shelter him from her brother. Not much good it would do now, really. The girl knew she should just get him _out of there_, back to his own world, and _quick,_ but curiosity stayed her.

She wanted to understand. There was so few a time she truly grasped the workings of her brother's mind, whereas he always read her like a book. Perhaps this was what kept Futa-chan from cutting ties completely with her brother. That incessant, itching curiosity. It was a powerful thing.

_Curiosity killed the cat. Let's pray all goes well for the raven._

"I'm listening."

"Good. Hmm, where to start..." He mused, and rather absentmindedly nudged the now very unconscious informant's prone leg with his foot. Futa-chan stiffened even further, and very nearly growled, her face twisting into a snarl. It was rather unexpected from a delicate looking girl like Futa-chan, but he bore the look blankly, gathering his thoughts. "Well, I suppose we should begin here," he decided, indicating the human with a nod.

"Honestly Sister, I don't see the appeal. Billions of humans throughout history, and this is the one who captures your interest? And he's not even a prominent figure with followers. Well, besides a pack of hormone-ridden high school girls." ***

At this, well, basically an implication that she was some juvenile, love-struck child, the girl adjusted her hold on the informant self consciously, and her hand happened to brush his cheek. To her alarm and mounting panic, his skin was going cold against her fingertips. "Ah! I don't have time for this! I'll deal with you," she gave her brother a final glare, "later!"

...

The boy sighed. "Such impatience. And using her powers in front of a human? What is she thinking? Well, it's not like he can tell anyone now. That ungratefully little girl. Well, soon enough she'll thank me for taking care of that human for her..." he muttered as he sauntered up to his lavish home, leaving his now empty estate devoid of life once again.

****Um, this is not a mistake. You know when you hold little kids in the air and they say "I want down!" Same concept. Izaya's in pain, so he can't think very coherently. Just saying because my friend whined about it and…. Now I'm paranoid.**

***** HEY! I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT! HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS CAN BE FEROCIOUS! **

**You-know-who: You typed it, not me...**

**Futa-chan: VOLDEMORT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE POST-SCRIPT? **

**Me: No! Your brother!**

**Futa-chan: Oh... we should seriously give him a name.**

**Me: Pfft! You should seriously get that hot piece of ass to a doctor. **

**You-know-who: I'll just go then...**

**Me: NOT BEFORE YOU APOLOGIZE TO ALL OF IZAYA'S TEENAGE FANGIRLS!**

**Izaya: *moan* doctor... please... I need... Shinra...**

**Me: *blushing furiously* Context Izaya. Context.**


	7. Clarification

**Late update is late. Sorry, been busy with testing and visiting relatives and life in general. But I'm sure you're not interested in any of that.**

**Oh, and I just realized I need to specify a few little details...**

**[Celty typing]**

**"Normal Talking"  
><strong>**'Thoughts'**

**Hope that cleared it up a bit. Oh and here's the story on dA for those of you who have a dA account and not a FF account: http:/fav(dot)me/d4s4wvd**

**Please try to enjoy this crappy chappy.**

When Izaya woke, he thought he had returned to his nightmare and, that surely, it must end soon, as the shadows enveloped him on all sides. So logically, he should come out of it soon, begin a new, happy dream, or at least a less disconcerting nightmare.

You'd think he'd grow bored of it, simply suspending in the darkness. Well, it seemed to Izaya that he was suspended, as he could discern no floor or ceiling to his surroundings, but in truth, the raven was sitting up, solidly, like he had decided to rest for moment on the ground.

And then without warning went blind. To everything except his own body. Yeah, that was what it was like.

'This isn't that scary…' the raven thought. It was irrational that he felt his dreamself trembling.

The raven felt awful. What was he doing, a man aspiring to godliness, first getting all worked up over Shizuo, then reacting like a instinct driven animal when confronted with the blonde, and now! Now he was frightened of something his own subconscious had conjured up!

What was wrong with him?

"Nothing."

Izaya yelped; ugh, yes, he was definitely losing his edge. "W-who's there?"

And with no entrance or flash of light, the girl of his dream-his nightmare- stood before him, in stark contrast to the darkness. He hadn't even blinked, she hadn't been there and then she was. Oddly, it seemed natural, like people did that all the time now.

The raven shook his head. 'And people say I appear out of nowhere, ha.'

"You just surprise them, that's all. No human can do what I can."

Izaya flinched. "How are you doing that?" he exclaimed, fighting the urge to shy away from the freakish girl. "You're not-"

"Reading your mind? Afraid so. And I don't appreciate being called a freak," she deadpanned.

"Sorry," the raven muttered. 'Didn't look offended,' he thought skeptically.

"I'm not offended," the girl asserted, cheerful again. Izaya decided to pretend he had just been speaking aloud and that mind readers were still just as real as unicorns to him.

"Yeah, you do that," the girl laughed. Then she just stood there, smiling pleasantly, as if he weren't suspended in malicious shadows. She stood still, staring at him…. Not in an especially intense way, but the raven still struggled not to squirm. The girl had distracted him from his fear, but now in the silence, she was not much of a comfort. The shadows were still lurking….

"Oh, frightened, are we?" She murmured to herself.

As sudden as the girl appeared, the shadows vanished. Izaya gasped shallowly, jumping up from his seated position and twisting around as if to watch their retreat, but they had fled instantaneously. Then he swiftly flicked his hood up to shield his eyes.

"Ugh, too bright…"

The lack of darkness, unfortunately, did not return color. Where it had once been blackness, now there was whiteness. It went from one extreme to another. And as before, he could see nothing. There was him, the girl, and nothing else.

He wasn't sure which he disliked more... Well, maybe the shadows would be less sinister if he knew the concealed nothing?

"Sorry, how's this?" As she spoke, the surrounding whiteness dimmed, settling between utter blackness and blinding white, blending into a soft, comforting gray.

Izaya lowered his hood tentatively, staring at the girl, unsure but too stubborn to show it.

The girl found nothing odd about being stared at, though it was the first time in hundreds of years a mortal had last had the chance-'_the honor'_, her brother's voice chimed in her mind-to gaze upon her.

"It's good that you're not freaking out or anything; I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I brought you here! It's a relief to see how well you're handling it!"

Izaya scowled. "What were you expecting then? And where is 'here'?" he ground out, annoyed at himself for having such weird dreams lately. Why was he even asleep anyway? The last thing the raven remembered, he had been going to gather information about Shizuo, and then-

Nothing. He was walking home and then there was nothing.

"Ah, I've been drugged haven't I? Someone's gotten irked with me and my ways~ and they've decided to drug me and drag me off somewhere~? I expect I'll be able to look forward to some lovely, misguided vengeance from my lovely humans when I wake up?"

The girl laughed again. "You think rather quickly; I wasn't able to catch half of that before it was out of your mouth."

The raven mumbled something about stupid dream girls who avoided questions from superiors under his breath before raising his voice, "Thanks so much."

"No need for sarcasm! It _is _impressive, you should be thankful. And I wasn't ignoring your question, you're just impatient. I swear, the way people nowadays raise their children, no manners! No patience! Goodness!" The girl, who was obviously annoying and bipolar, tsked disparagingly. "As for your question, it was a good deduction, the drugged and kidnapped scenario. It explains how you don't remember getting home and your odd dream."

The raven smirked. "It's just simple logic, the ways of humans are always predictable-"

"Yes, yes. You're very clever. No need to tell me, I know." The girl interrupted, a bit annoyed herself now with the arrogance the informant displayed. He saw this clearly and smirked wider.

"However, your logic no longer applies." she went on, emotionless now. The raven dropped the arrogant mask, adopting her serious manner, "Logic always applies," he retorted slowly, watching the girl, wary of her swiftly shifting moods.

She smiled when he thought this but choose not to comment. He _should_ be wary of her. "You cannot rely on your old techniques or instinct here. Your tricks are useful, but the fact remains that they are indeed tricks. I am not trying to threaten you," she assured, sensing the path his thoughts were taking, "though it is good that you are being cautious. Now, organize your thoughts, they're terribly awry. When you've finished I shall answer your questions, and we can proceed to address your little, ahem, problem."

Izaya growled, then plastered on a commiserating look, "You talk big for a little girl. Tell me, where did these control issues come from? Problems at home? Ah, it's ok you don't have to go into details, I won't be that insensitive," He rushed out when the girl frowned. "It's fine though. I have major control issues, I'm completely OCD! But I turned out okay, so you will be too, I'm sure of it. Don't worry."

The girl sighed, rubbing just above the bridge of her nose where a headache was surely forming. Where it would be forming, if she was a normal girl. "Firstly, I just said that your tricks won't work. No mind games here, they have no effect on me. And second, you're supposed to be thinking this is a dream right? What's the use of playing shrink to a dream?"

Izaya shrugged, it was worth a shot. "So did you just admit I'm dreaming?"

"Um, no," she giggled. "Definitely not. And since you're not asking, I'll go ahead and start on why you're here. And where 'here' is, since you're so curious."

The girl paused to allow for rude comments on her sanity or strangeness, but showed no surprise when there was none. "Where we are, is a realm which humans are unaware of, have been unaware of, and shall always be unaware of. And we-as in, those who are able to access both this realm and the human world- have many guardians to ensure that no one ever discovers our sanctum. To keep our secrecy is of the only rules we have. So," the girl smiled lightly, as if she had not just broken the only law applied to her, "as I'm sure you've deduced, you being here is a pretty big deal."

Then she turned away from her, but if it was to avoid the raven's incredulous gaze, he knew not.

'She's obviously the kind of person with the whole '_This is my opinion, but its ok that yours is wrong_' complex going on.' The raven thought snidely.

"Don't you think that's a little hypocritical, coming from you?"

The raven blinked innocently, though the girl/entity/figment of his imagination/thing was not looking. "Who, me?" Then he giggled. His initial (and completely rational) shock at her mysterious power seemed forgotten entirely.

The girl laughed along. "Yes, you. And now that you know the 'where', I'll explain the 'why'. Don't get mad at my vagueness, okay? I gave away a big secret just now, but not my only one. Not my biggest either."

"Okay!"

Another laugh from the both of them. "I brought you here, because recently, I've been watching you."

She paused for a moment allowing him to digest this. Neither shock nor disgust registered on Izaya's face.

And why should he be surprised? He was Orihara Izaya! Why wouldn't young women be following him around?

So she forged on, "I've actually been watching the both of you. You and Shizuo-kun. And I know why he's acting strangely. He-"

"… Did …that… Shizu-chan…" The informant muttered, lowering his head so his fringe hid his expression.

"Pardon?" The girl was puzzled, with the mumbled nonsense, and the sudden whorls the raven's usually tidy, logical thoughts had become. She tried latching onto them, but they were like paint in her hands, giving her a clue of the color of his thoughts but none of the substance.

'How curious. Could he be disguising his thoughts?'

"…. Were you the one who did that to Shizu-chan?" The raven lifted his head slowly, revealing his now hardened face, his accusing eyes.

The girl blinked. She hadn't sensed any sign of malice from the raven, yet she could clearly see it, right before her. Was her brother right about her? Had she grown lax, was she slipping? She drew in a shaky breath. 'No. He was just taunting me. I can't be losing my cool. Not now, not with so much on the line.'

"…Why would you say that?" She smiled uneasily. "Don't you see? Why would I come to you if I had been the cause of all the strife you've stewed in? I'm here to help you!"

"I'm an information broker that deals primary with color gangs and the yakuza. You think this is the first time someone's told me that?" The raven's voice stayed low, just above a whisper, which made him all the frightening. In her ruffled state the strange girl actually found herself a bit hesitant in his presence.

But the small girl, who's looks announced of a girl no older than fifteen, had seen far too many horrifying, gruesome scenes in her long, long, long life. She would not be deterred now.

There was too much at stake now.

The girl stood firm once again. "Maybe so, but I am no ordinary human, and your surroundings, or lack of thereof, can warrant that. I am not lying, though it is not important if you believe me. What is important is your cooperation. So will you help me? … No, will you help yourself? Help Shizuo-kun?"

XXX

"So how do we do this?"

After a little more persuasion (an hour or two's worth, but time meant nothing to the duo in this realm) Izaya had _finally_ conceded that the truth wasn't currently important. Shizuo was what mattered now, and as weird as that sounded, Izaya wouldn't deny it.

Why should he? Why doubt himself or his logic or whatever it was causing him to feel all this? This- this weird, warm gushing feeling inside when he thought of restoring Shizuo to his true self, he'd figure it out later. He'd save that for later, when he was back in his own realm, the real world.

'It's probably just this freaky place, with its bleak, grayness and its guardians and secrets and annoying mind readers.'

The girl scoffed. "Haven't you been listening? Geez, will I always receive this much attention from humans? You all really are just children, like Brother says…." She trailed off, thinking of her brother. Thinking, thinking, thinking. What was she going to _do_ about him? She couldn't let him just continue on unchecked. Their situation could only worsen if he had his way!

The girl sighed. Uncertainty was so _foreign_. When had she last been unsure of where the future would lead? When had she last been worried enough to attempt to change it?

"It's simple. Brother is off- well, I can't tell you where he is, and I doubt you'd believe me, but he'll be able to sense when I enter his 'home'. It's more of a domain really, but he always knows somehow, and shows up to lecture me on privacy. So when he comes barreling over, you're going to pretend to be me, and distract him. I'll come back with our solution when he's gone."

"Okay, two things. One- what exactly is the solution? How is something your brother owns going to help Shizu-chan get back to normal?"

"Let's just say my brother was there when he first _changed. _He kind of, stole something, very important to Shizuo-kun. You'll see it when I get it, so you can give it back to him."

"... Okay, I'll guess I'll find out what that means later then..."

"What's the second thing?"

"... How exactly am I going to pretend to be you? We don't look anything alike. Is your big bro blind or something?"

"Well that's simple. I'm not human."

"…. Huh." Izaya said, rather flatly requesting further explanation.

"Do I have to clarify everything? Is it that hard to figure out?" Izaya's blank stare was plenty enough answer. "Geez. Guess its okay, since I've broken almost every other rule. I _really_ shouldn't be saying this, but because I'm not human, I can manipulate my physical form to my will."

There was a beat of silence, then an audible 'click' in the raven's mind. "Oooooooooh. Okay. Why didn't you just say so?"

"You never asked."

"Hmmph." Then the raven's thoughts, which he had trained meticulously for years to always lean to the cruel and despicable, offered up some juicy material. Unable to deny a lifetime of habit, he couldn't help but tease:

"So what do you really look like? Ah, I know a lot of girls who'd kill for a power like yours~. Tell me, what have you tweaked? The shape of your mouth? The size of your nose? Eye color? Surely there's something you weren't satisfied with~."

The girl wasn't phased in the slightest by the rude questioning and cruel implications behind them. "Of course I've changed things. Quite a bit, actually."

"Ah ha! Oh~, but there's nothing~ wrong with taking advantage of such a gift~. So you look very~ different? What did you look like before? Oh, you've been dropping all these little hints, haven't you? So you're not really human huh? Are you a demon then~? Or a witch? An old, ugly hag~?" With that one cruel thought, the old, jackass Orihara came bursting out, eager to tease and prod after over a week of suppression, overdoing it really.

"Not like that. It's just that, if you saw my true face, well, you'd be reduced to a little puddle by my feet."

Izaya did a double take. He hadn't expected her to admit anything after being so secretive. And about her appearance, something most girls would spend hours masking beneath layer after layer of product. A real anomaly, this one. "A-ah. S-so… I was correct on the demon account? The horror merely seeing the beastly truth shall melt my flesh and bones?"

Much to his irritation, the girl just laughed. The most his words could possibly prompt from her was _amusement_. 'Arrgh! What kind of troll if I can't even annoy a child?'

"Usually I'm being revered! To be insulted, and by a human no less! It's laughable! So don't be offended. Can't be a troll if you get so flustered, especially by a _child."_

Izaya sighed. She was right, and even if he could read his admission in his mind, he'd never voice it. Too stubborn, so stubborn. "Let's just get it over with then. So your big bro is gonna come along, I'm going to pretend to be you, pretending to be me. Now, how do I explain you, becoming me?"

The girl grinned devilishly. "I'm sure you'll figure something out~," mimicking his teasing tone from before.

Damn, this girl would be the death of him.

"Hey, I'm getting pretty tired of just referring to you as 'girl' in my head, and I'm sure you're tired of hearing it. Can your name really be a secret as well?"

"Yes, yes it is."

'Must not kill. Must not kill. Must not kill….'

"If you're that upset about it, give me a name."

"…. How about _Futago_?"

"Awww! I've endeared myself to Orihara Izaya? He sees me as family, close to his heart? Cute!"

"Nah, it's cuz you're just as annoying as them," he snapped.

"You like them!" she accused.

"Whatever, Futa-chan."

Futago beamed, thrilled by the prospect of a pet name. She could she why Izaya was so infatuated with humans; they were delightful!

Izaya huffed, feeling his fingers twitch longing to reach out for that pale, deceptively fragile looking throat. 'I really am becoming the protozoan.' A little groan emitted softly. 'This is for Shizuo. For Shizuo.'

"Ok, let's go!"  
>'Finally! Ugh, for Shizuo, for Shizuo.'<p>

In his frustration and longing to be back in his own realm, the raven kept up his mental mantra.

'For Shizuo, for Shizuo, for Shizuo, for Shizuo, for Shizuo….'

Still dreading this place, this girl, this plan, his own damn life, Izaya was not calmed by this practice. But he was stubborn, so stubborn. If this would return the Shizuo he knew and- was he really going to risk so much for someone he hated?

A dry chuckled escaped the raven's lips.

'No, I'm way too stubborn and cruel and _Orihara_ for that.'

So then, what else to do except-

'Alright, then, so for logic's sake, let's say I'm doing this for someone I love.'

Futago laughed, prompting a scowl from the raven. He figured since she'd stopped commenting on his every little mental quip, she somehow tuned out his thoughts. Apparently she'd just pretended not to hear.

"Someone you love, huh? Can the whole of humanity be counted as a 'someone'?" she teased.

"No."

No, no they couldn't. And though he loved them, he would never go to such lengths for his humans.

"But Shizu-chan can."

**Me: KYAAAA IZAYA LOVES SHIZUOOOOOO!**

**Shizuo: ... O_O''**

**Izaya: Why are _you_ freaking out? You're the writer! You were supposed to see this coming!**

**Me: Actually I didn' last little part was added much later... I wanted at least a little of Shizaya in this chappy, even though it's just Izaya and Futa-chan.**

**Note: To anyone confused, futago means 'Twins' in Japanese. Izaya claims to name her that way because his sisters annoy him, and even though they're family he has no attachment to them. Futa-chan taunts him about actually liking them, so he wants to kill her.**

**Futa-chan: Mean! **

**Me: Shut up! Your babbling is boring to write, so I was late on the update!**

**Futa-chan: You're just lazy!**

**Me: Damn mindreader! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!**

**Izaya: Mine too!**

**Me: Soon, don't worry.**

**Shizuo: ... O_O'' ...Can I get back to normal already...?**


	8. Betrayal

**Sup guys. I'm a little late, I know. I've been trying to gain some popularity on dA. On that note: Thanks to anyone to visited to my dA account! And thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorited! It makes me so happy!**

**And you may think there's no point to visiting my dA account since you can read Apostasy here, but then you'll never see my lovely (not) artworks! Ok, I'm done self advertising. Oh, wait, not yet! I started another story where Shizuo has brain damage! Check it out! Also there's a poll on my profile page relevant to Apostasy, so go check that out too.**

**Ok, NOW I'm done self advertising. Enjoy the story.**

"Here we are!"

The raven's jaw dropped.

When the raven had asked how they were getting to Futa-chan's brother's home (or domain as she called it) she'd smiled secretively, slapped a hand over his eyes, and cooed, "No peeking~!"

Like a child in her school play, her exuberance made her role all the more dubious.

Or so he'd thought a second ago.

In the span of the few seconds he'd had his eyes shut, and their surroundings had transformed entirely.

What had once been pure nothingness, blank backgrounds, a canvas whose potential had yet to be discovered, was now…

Now not.

It was not the world the raven knew, but it was neither the one he had just witnessed for the first and hopefully (for the raven) the last time. Now, the place he observed through disbelieving russet eyes was some combination of the two.

There were buildings here. Well, one building, which was obviously Futago's brother's home. And it was huge! Bigger than anything he'd seen in Japan or anywhere else! It was like a castle you'd see in a fairytale book! Over ten stories high and wider than he could believe. Stone steps led to the lavishly carved wooden double doors twice as high as he was tall and wide enough for ten people to enter at once. Around the door stood the massive structure, which seemed to be crafted of some pure white rock with no fault in sight. It was like some enormous opaque gemstone had simply been formed into the shape of a mansion.

Around the dizzyingly large building there was no grass, the substance beneath their feet and stretching as far as the eye could see, seemed to run into some large multicolor blanket. The colors varied from a dark burgundy to light cream and every color in between. And while most of the colors appeared naturally, the stretches of bright violet and turquoise couldn't possibly be natural. Despite this, they all seemed to blend from one color to the next perfectly. Curious as a kitten, the informant reached down and swept the palm of his right hand across the strange material. It shifted beneath his touch willingly, but did not look or feel grainy like sand. Hmm.

Clay, maybe? Straightening up and glancing at his hand, Izaya grimaced. The color (which just happened to be a rosy pink) had attached itself to his hand. He rubbed his palm furiously against his jeans, but to no avail. The entire expanse of his hand covered in pink, and not a smidge would come off! Of course!

These same russet eyes blinked, once, twice, and again, but the image presented before them did not waver or change in the slightest. Feeling completely _off_, he turned to Futa-chan. She flinched as they made eye contact.

"Quiet your thoughts, would you? If you're going to be me, you'll need to exercise some control."

"You could have given me some warning! Before- before that!"

"Would it have helped? If you were being honest with yourself, do you think it would have helped?"

Izaya frowned and bit his lip. "… Maybe not, but that's not something you can just throw at someone!"

Futa-chan smiled, and Izaya didn't like it a bit. The urge to apologize to anyone he'd made uncomfortable with all his smirks and mannerisms and _Orihara-ness_ fluttered in his chest, but was easily ignored.

'I will not let this little endeavor change my entire life, even if it will!'

…

'Wait, that didn't make sense…'

"Uh, yeah it didn't," Futago jeered, smirking outright now.

"Stop eavesdropping in my head!"

"I ain't been dropping no eaves! You're thinking too loud, too much. That's why you should listen to your superior, and _control your damn thoughts. _And be quick! I don't know how long he'll be gone, so I need to get in there now!"

Izaya huffed, trying hard not to sulk at the 'superior' bit-freaking out over it would just prove her point. "Fine. How's this."

Futa-chan frowned, and leaned forward, inching close to the raven, her face creasing in concentration.

"…. That's odd…"

"What? What is it?" Izaya, still wary and anxious from everything that had conspired recently.

"Ah… never mind. For a moment there, it was like you weren't even here. Your aura really quieted, until you panicked of course…" Futa-chan muttered, ignoring the raven's glare at being called panicked. "You, uh… did a good job. Keep doing that."

"Hmmm~, giving compliments is awkward for you? You know what they say, practice makes perfect~!"

"It's not that. Just don't freak out when my brother gets here," Futa-chan said, stiff and glaring all of a sudden.

"Fine, fine, geez. What's your problem? You must really be bipolar, or whatever this place's equivalent is," Izaya muttered in return.

"Whatever, I'm going now. Remember, when Brother gets here-and remember to call him that- stay cool, and act like me."

"Hmmph, shouldn't be too hard, since you're acting just like a bipolar version of myself. I'll just be slightly more insane than I usually am," Izaya teased, trying to pull a smile out of this odd little girl who would soon held the key to Shizuo's mental health.

She didn't smile though. Might have something to do with knowing why the raven was trying to be nice (or as nice as he could manage) to her.

She turned and started up the steps.

"Hey!"

She turned back, still frowning. "What?"

Izaya held up right hand. "When will this pink stuff come off?"

Now she smiled. "What pink stuff?"

Izaya blinked, and glanced at his hand. Sure enough, the color was back to its normal pallor.

"… Heh, this place will be the death of me."

XXX

Somewhere-for the exact location may not be spoken of- an entity who chose to take the likeness of a human in the delicate years that changed a child into an adult, smirked.

"Ah, Sister. Good to know you've arrived. What would you be doing in my home, I wonder?"

Of course there was no response.

"Well, till you are satisfied with lurking about my home like a thief, I suppose I'll just have to entertain myself with your little human."

XXX

Izaya, ever observant, had begun compiling a list of characteristics unique to the realm he temporarily stuck in. Even if he didn't like it, he wasn't stupid enough to waste an opportunity to observe an environment that no human had ever imagined.

Besides the odd substance on the ground, which he had just taken to calling 'dirt', the sky was also different. The color was odd. It shifted. And in no discernible order or pattern the raven could see.

'Green now, ah, and now it's a brownish color. It changed from green to brown almost immediately…. But it had been blue before for over three minutes…. Green again huh?'

That was another thing. He was aware of time here, whereas he could've sat and spoke with Futa-chan for days in- in… that other place. Of course, the time seemed very slow here, like a transition area from fast moving time to no time at all. But then, it might have been slow because he was bored.

Yes, Izaya, who had the incredible chance of exploring a world that people could hardly dream of, was bored.

'This place sucks!'

"Dear me, such vulgarity."

Gasping, Izaya whirled and there before him was a boy. Instantly he was reminded of Futa-chan, though there was no physical similarity. It was the way he stood and held himself, not stiffly, but with none of the careless, posture ruining slouching of modern day's youth. It was the way Izaya was certain he could pass by this person every day for the rest of his life in the streets and never glance twice at him. Hell, if Izaya blinked he'd forget what the boy was wearing.

How could someone seem so immediately illustrious, and simultaneously so forgettable?

Izaya was impressed, and that made it all the more impressive. **

"Brother! You frightened me!" Izaya exclaimed, slipping into his role effortlessly as soon as he had shaken his shock.

"Oh? My apologies, dearest Sister. Now perhaps you could explain," the boy paused to gesture at the raven, "this?"

"Hmph, and I thought you knew everything," Izaya snorted. He waved a hand dismissively. "It's cosplay, of course!"

The young boy who Izaya had just been complimenting mentally for appearing so distinguished, now looked completely dumbfounded. "_Cosplay_?"

"Of course! I've done lots of research on humans lately, but recently what I really hope to conceive and appreciate is cosplay! The wonders of becoming a beloved anime or manga character! Why are humans so interested? And I must master the practice before I can understand the theory! But," Izaya paused to snort and shake his head at his 'Brother' haughtily, "obviously you couldn't savor the finer workings of humans, which you belittle so."

"Ah, I see." To the raven's immense annoyance, the boy had regained his cool easily. 'So much like his sister.'

"But why Orihara Izaya?"

"Hmm?" Izaya immediately understood the questioning, but feigned disinterest.

"Why cosplay as Orihara Izaya?" The boy clarified.

"Oh, you know I've had my eye on him lately. I've also had my eye on Hewaijima Shizuo, but I doubt I would play the part of a brute monster very well. Izaya is much more refined, don't you think?"

"Sister, even _I _will admit to the glaring difference between Orihara and Hewaijima. Humans are usually so alike, but them? Those men are fire and ice, oil and water. I won't go as far to say a _human _is _refined_ but you have a point in this one case."

'Geez, high and mighty much?' Izaya thought, scowling inwardly.

"Of course."

Izaya didn't flinch or shrink in the slightest at having his private thoughts violated. He was too determined to do his part. For Shizuo. He merely did his best to quiet his mind.

"As to be expected of my Brother~!" Izaya grinned cheekily, playing the part of an annoying, bipolar, immortal girl faultlessly.

The boy smiled back, and the raven fought back a shiver. A sudden, powerful sense of dread gripped him tightly.

"Yes of course, _Sister. _Ah, we always get so distracted in our little chats, do we not? I'm sure there's a reason for your surprise visit. Why don't we continue this conversation inside?"

The raven paused. The proper thing would be to skip inside and talk normally, like Futa-chan would. But what if they walked right in on the real Futa-chan, doing whatever it was she was doing to fix Shizuo? The insidious dread increased tenfold.

He sure as hell wasn't going to let that happen! Not when he was so close to getting Shizuo back!

"Aww, what's your hurry? We used to talk about absolutely nothing before. Remember, Brother? Those old times? You know, sometimes I wish we could just be like we were before…."

Izaya couldn't mask his surprise when his 'Brother' lifted his gaze to lock on his own, staring deeply into his eyes. For a moment, the boy looked so vulnerable, so… sad.

The stood there, eyes locked, before Izaya couldn't stand the pain he saw in the others face and shifted awkwardly. He didn't understand. He had peered and pried into hundreds of intimate relationships so shamelessly before, so why did he feel so abashed?

….He was witnessing something this boy had reserved for a sister. _His_ sister.

'Why do I feel so horrible about this…?'

Izaya realized then, why this place, with all it's strangeness and solitude was so repulsive to him. There were no humans. The love he had nurtured for years, did not exist in this realm. He could not see his love in this world. _And they could not see him._

"If only you were my Sister."

Izaya gasped, snapping his head to the boy's now blank face.

'Oh crap, he's seen through me!'

As soon as the thoughts were out of his head, he heard a gasp somewhere behind him.

"NO BROTHER, DON'T-"

Izaya could not hear the rest, as Futa-chan's screams were drowned out by the intense crack of bone as her brother slammed his small fist through the raven's chest.

_And his love could not see him._

_His love..._

**Me: Meh, this chapter was shorter than I hoped it would be…..**

**Izaya: I'm DYING and THAT'S all you have to say-**

**Me: Don't be such a drama queen, you're fine.**

**Izaya: I'm a king, not a queen!**

**Me: You spent the whole chapter pretending to be a girl. Not to mention you pretend to be a girl on the internet, FOR YOUR OWN AMUSEMENT. Anyway~ review if you want more.**

****If Izaya admits it's impressive, it's freaking IMPRESSIVE.**


	9. Amputate

**In this chapter _italicized words_ are Izaya's thoughts. But only in this chapter. Get it? Got it? Good.**

**Edit: Aaaaaand here's the rest of the chapter. Just scroll down past 'XXX'. Everything after that is new. Sorry for posting half a chapter again...**

Pain.

This was all the raven could possibly fathom. He could not muster the strength to think of anything else. Could not garner any self-conscious, as his jet-black wings unfurled to either side of him, desperately snatching at air, seeking to slow his tumult.

Down, down, down. He fell and fell and fell. His skin, used to the tingle and chill of cool air rushing past him, now numb. His eyes, accustomed to always gazing downward, at his humans, whether in love or contempt, now blind. His ears, always greedily devouring every delightful bit of information they could detect, now deaf.

His great wings flapped vainly, anxious to be gone, away from this pain, this fear, this _humanity. _

The raven struggled as well. _That's right. I need to get away from here. Fly off, get away like I always do. I have to get away._

But he was frozen by the grip of the fiery pain. Frozen flames engulfed him, as determined to trap him as he was to escape.

He thrashed in its hold, and in retaliation the pain clamped down on his body forcefully, sinking its teeth in further, slicing flesh and scraping bone. The raven cried out, but the fire was centered in his chest, and he was unable to draw a breath. What might have been a screech to curdle blood came out as an inaudible squeak.

Finally, after what had seemed to be hours of fruitless struggle, the raven's lungs started working again. He gasped, trying to breath around the fire in his chest. But his mouth was full and he choked. He spat to clear it. The raven could breath again. That was good, that was a start. Now he needed to get away. Come up with a clever trick and fly off. Whether he fought with his wit or his claws, it was fine. He'd do anything to be gone! Back to his nest, his home and his world and his humans and his playthings and-

Shizuo. He wanted away from here-and now**. He had to get back to where he was respected, feared, hated. He would _not_ die pitifully here.

He was Orihara Izaya, damn it!

Determined, the raven fought to get to his feet. As soon as he moved the pain lacing his chest shot through his skull. Making him groan and falter. But he obstinately refused to stop. He rolled, freeing his wings from where they'd been pinned beneath him. He tried to discern an escape route, but his eyelids were too heavy to open and his surroundings seemed to be spinning around him. He couldn't tell up from down or left from right.

But it didn't matter. The only direction he needed was _away. _With a tremendous effort, he hauled himself to his hands and knees. He paused there, breathing heavily, each labored breathe feeling like a hammer to the chest, like swallowing nails. More liquid bubbled up his throat, strangling him. He tilted his head downward, allowing it to dribble from his mouth, too tired to spit.

When it seemed clear he inhaled deeply again, tasting the thick metallic tang linger. He grimaced. Whatever. It doesn't matter. He could worry about it when he was home.

Spreading his wings to their full span he moved to get to his feet. But his body wasn't listening to him anymore. The Pain held all its attention now, pounding in his veins, deafeningly loud. The only thing free was his mind. That, and his wings.

_Whatever! It doesn't matter!_

Even if his body stiffened in place, he could overcome it! He could still fly! He only needed his wings!

The raven could feel every one of his feathers straining outward, reaching for the sky, longing for the freedom of flight. They trembled in anticipation, and the raven felt a commiserating shudder run through him as well.

As he prepared himself, he noted with relief that the Pain had begun to ebb. It must be a good sign, the first stroke of luck in this bleak day.

He moved to stand, tensed for the Pain, but there was still nothing. The raven allowed himself a rush of confidence, sure now of escape.

He relaxed himself, coaxing his stiff body to unclench and move. He had to move. He had to leave. _Now!_

His body finally responded to him. Unfortunately.

As soon as his muscles unlocked, the moment when he would have leaped into the sky and taken off, he fell. He staggered forward, trying to catch himself, but there was no strength in his useless legs. He couldn't even lift his arms to buffer his fall.

Smack!

He may as well have plummeted from a skyscraper. The result would have been the same. Face down, inept limbs sprawled awkwardly beneath him, humiliated, feeling his lifeblood leak slowly away.

Only now did he realize where the Pain had gone. It was chased away by the Numbness, along with his strength, his wit, his tricks, and his pride.

His beautiful, free wings still stretched to the sky. His jet-black feathers rustled against one another, screeching with impatience.

Without warning, a wind with the force of a hurricane surged past, screaming in his ears.

Riiiiip.

The raven blanched, the new sound shocking him from the numbness. A dread-filled realization washed over him, and the fresh pain along his shoulder blades only confirmed it.

His fickle, impatient wings had grown tired of him, sick of his weakness, his fragility, his _humanity_.

So at the first opportunity, they'd left him.

He'd been shot and beaten. Abused and insulted. Hunted and attacked.

But he'd never felt this naked, this vulnerable, this lost.

Izaya Orihara had no strength. No wit. No tricks. No pride. Pretty soon he'd have no life.

_Sorry Shizu-chan... I thought I'd get you back... and everything would be fine again. I'd get my nice, privileged information broker life back, and we'd hate each other. Wasn't it fun Shizu-chan? I told you it would be..._

Yes the now ex-raven was very sure of his escape now.

"...s...rry... Shizu..."

After all, how could anyone in his situation not be sure of his own death?

XXX

"NO BROTHER, DON'T-!"

Futa-chan felt her voice die in her throat as her brother ignored her entirely, striking Izaya with far more power than someone three times his size was capable of. A human would have laughed at the sight of a grown man being knocked down by a preteen boy, because that was all they were able to see.

Futa-chan saw the truth.

She watched as the most fearsome immortal she knew struck a mere mortal a killing blow. For a moment everything seemed to play in slow motion, as the raven's features twisted in pain and shock, and he fell, crumpling to the ground. Then time was rushing forward, dizzily fast, trying to make up for the seconds it had lost. As her brother gazed on with an amused smirk, Izaya rolled to his hands and knees, and for a moment it seemed he was ready to spring to his feet, completely unharmed, and tease her for worrying about him. He'd laugh and prove the blood dripping from his mouth and seeping from his shirt meant nothing...

The moment passed, and Izaya collapsed back to the ground. A coldness spread through Futa-chan's as the informant went still. She reached for his mind tentatively, not wanting to leave him lying there if he was still alive but... she was frightened. She had never truly witnessed death before, though she had both been around it her entire existence, and, on occasion, caused it, but she'd always covered her eyes, pretended she was elsewhere, as if doing so would prevent it.

She could not look away now, or her brother would win, Shizuo would never be whole again, and Izaya would...

She would _not _stop here! Even is she had to witness the informant's end, through his eyes, and feel him slip away forever-

_Ah_... she could still feel his presence, though his already vague thoughts were growing slower, changing color, like fresh blood cooling and clotting, turning brown. She morbidly wondered if that was the color his eyes were now, as they dulled and became glazed with death.

Shaking such pessimistic thoughts from her mind, she rushed to the fallen raven's side, dropping to her knees beside him. "Izaya!"

He stirred, quite unexpectedly, and Futa-chan flinched. Leaning close she called "Izaya?" softly, questioningly.

"...s...rry... Shizu..."

Futa-chan patted his shoulder lightly, trying to sound upbeat and calm. "Hey, there's nothing to be sorry for!"

She could not keep her cool however, as her brother strode towards her, hands casually placed on his hips, looking almost bored as he watched them. The girl glared viciously at him, carefully tugging Izaya into her lap and cradling his head protectively. Even a human could see how maternal she was acting towards him, even in her childlike body. Like she had known him all her life, instead of a few hours. Like he was very important to her.

"...Heh."

Her glare (if possible) grew more heated, more hateful. "What's so funny?" she snapped.

"You are, Sister. And the human, as well. The way you have become so distressed over one little human... Actually believing you could fool me! It's laughable."

"Shut up!" She yelled, her voice cracking and sounding almost... whiny. "Why did you do that to him? He was just-!"

"Just what? Breaking our laws? Staining our homeland? Spitting on eons of sacred tradition?"

Futa-chan shook her head slowly, feeling tears prick in her eyes. She sniffed. She knew her brother wasn't talking about just Izaya.

"T-there was n-no harm down, w-we weren't here l-long! A-and it was my i-idea! So..." She trailed off, feeling pathetic. She didn't want to cry over Izaya... _She didn't want Izaya to die! _

"He isn't dead yet, but it won't be long. He wouldn't have to be dying, and you would be so perturbed by his death if had _done what I had said and stayed out of it-"_

"Is that what this is about? You're trying to teach me a _lesson_? You're _sick_!"

The boy-like entity sighed, exasperated. "Not _everything_ revolves around you, Sister."

"But most of it does!" Futa-chan snapped, and immediately regretted it. Here she was, trying to prove she could make wise decisions and hold authority, screaming and whining like a child to get her way.

Her brother chuckled, and it would look to all the world as if they really were just a pair of average siblings, squabbling over a broken toy. A beaten, bleeding, broken toy.

_"It's not funny!"_

"Of course it isn't. Now finish your wailing. You wanted me to explain myself, did you not? I shall not shout over you to be heard."

"I'm not wa-wailing," Futa-chan claimed, but her lie was ruined when her voice trembled. She sniffled loudly once and murmured "I'm not."

"Of course," he assured, and he stepped over to her, forcing her to crane her neck to hold his gaze. Coming closer to Futa-chan inevitably brought him closer to Izaya, causing his impromptu protector to tense, curling low over Izaya's body, attempting to shelter him from her brother. Not much good it would do now, really. The girl knew she should just get him _out of there_, back to his own world, and _quick,_ but curiosity stayed her.

She wanted to understand. There was so few a time she truly grasped the workings of her brother's mind, whereas he always read her like a book. Perhaps this was what kept Futa-chan from cutting ties completely with her brother. That incessant, itching curiosity. It was a powerful thing.

_Curiosity killed the cat. Let's pray all goes well for the raven._

"I'm listening."

"Good. Hmm, where to start..." He mused, and rather absentmindedly nudged the now very unconscious informant's prone leg with his foot. Futa-chan stiffened even further, and very nearly growled, her face twisting into a snarl. It was rather unexpected from a delicate looking girl like Futa-chan, but he bore the look blankly, gathering his thoughts. "Well, I suppose we should begin here," he decided, indicating the human with a nod.

"Honestly Sister, I don't see the appeal. Billions of humans throughout history, and this is the one who captures your interest? And he's not even a prominent figure with followers. Well, besides a pack of hormone-ridden high school girls." ***

At this, well, basically an implication that she was some juvenile, love-struck child, the girl adjusted her hold on the informant self consciously, and her hand happened to brush his cheek. To her alarm and mounting panic, his skin was going cold against her fingertips. "Ah! I don't have time for this! I'll deal with you," she gave her brother a final glare, "later!"

...

The boy sighed. "Such impatience. And using her powers in front of a human? What is she thinking? Well, it's not like he can tell anyone now. That ungratefully little girl. Well, soon enough she'll thank me for taking care of that human for her..." he muttered as he sauntered up to his lavish home, leaving his now empty estate devoid of life once again.

****Um, this is not a mistake. You know when you hold little kids in the air and they say "I want down!" Same concept. Izaya's in pain, so he can't think very coherently. Just saying because my friend whined about it and…. Now I'm paranoid.**

***** HEY! I TAKE OFFENSE TO THAT! HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS CAN BE FEROCIOUS! **

**You-know-who: You typed it, not me...**

**Futa-chan: VOLDEMORT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE POST-SCRIPT? **

**Me: No! Your brother!**

**Futa-chan: Oh... we should seriously give him a name.**

**Me: Pfft! You should seriously get that hot piece of ass to a doctor. **

**You-know-who: I'll just go then...**

**Me: NOT BEFORE YOU APOLOGIZE TO ALL OF IZAYA'S TEENAGE FANGIRLS!**

**Izaya: *moan* doctor... please... I need... Shinra...**

**Me: *blushing furiously* Context Izaya. Context.**


	10. Interim

**GASP! An update on Apostasy? UNHEARD OF! **

**Hehe, sorry for the wait guys. I'm off school now so hopefully I will have more time for writing! w**

**IMPORTANT: Um, also, I kinda updated the first half of chapter 9 a few days before the second half, so if you ended the chapter on Izaya losing consciousness, GO BACK AND READ THE REST! The second half begins after you see 'XXX' ^_^ Thank you, that is all!**

There was motion and noise all around the informant. It was a foreign feeling to him, being surrounded by such abundant activity and neither playing a role nor manipulating the other players, but now he couldn't bring himself to care. The Numbness had sunken it's claws into him even more deeply than the Pain. It drowned out any thought of listening in on the commotion around him, even if it could mean figuring out where he was or what was going to happen to him.

But this… this was different. Where the Pain was like a feral animal intent on ripping his throat out, the Numbness was a thick, thick blanket.

A thick blanket with claw-like hooks, that is.

So beneath this insanely thick, impossible to remove blanket, Izaya struggled. Or attempted to.

It felt like he weighed a ton! His heavy, lethargic limbs would _not _listen to him. All this damned weight pressing down on his body, smothering him, crushing him. Breathing was a pain, the only pain he'd retained amid the Numbness. His lungs were on fire… just trying to breathe was causing the informant to go dizzy with effort.

Hell, _thinking_ was a chore right now.

'Ah… this sucks…'

Well, at least the clawing feeling was gone. Without it being numb was almost… pleasant. If only he could breathe…

He'd been under the effect of the numbness for a while now, hadn't he? He could not recollect when he'd drawn his last breath…. But what did it matter anyway….

The burning in his chest seemed insignificant now. And so what if he couldn't move? He didn't have anywhere to go anyway. He could just stay here, snuggled with his blanket.

Ah~ and now the dizziness was fading as well. Izaya suddenly felt quite sleepy.

'It's not like I have anything to do… mhmm I feel so comfortable here, like I could sleep here forever~'

There was no crushing pressure in this place, no dizziness or pain or numbness. Just a happy floating feeling.

'This is so nice… I should've done this a long time ago-'

"IZAYA WAKE UP!"

Ripped from the blanket of Numbness and the blissful emotion with it, Izaya woke with a shriek.

Now reunited with much needed oxygen, he gasped desperately. Clenching his hands in silk sheets, his eyes darting about fearfully, Izaya found-

That… he was… in his room…?

"Are you OK Izaya?" *

Turning his frightened gaze, Izaya saw a vaguely familiar face.

"Futa… chan?"

Masking her concerned face, Futa-chan smirked. "Who else would it be?"

"A-ah… How did we get here…?"

Futa-chan raised an incredulous brow. "Uh, hello, the great and powerful Futago here?"

The informant grimaced. "Oh. Right."

"Well, come on now," Futa-chan said, grinning. "Get up!" She crowed, jumping up and flopping on the bed beside Izaya.

"Hey!" he shouted, alarmed. "Don't do that- you'll agitate my wounds!"

Rolling on her side to face Izaya, the girl's grin grew sly. "What wounds?"

Izaya's mouth opened, then closed, like a fish. He looked down at himself, and hurriedly yanked his shirt up.

Nothing. It was the same pale, unmarred chest as always.

"Wha-?"

Sliding her small hand up Izaya's torso, Futa-chan teased, "You really need to remember who it is you're talking to, Izaya-_kun~"_

Futa-chan's hand had made its way to his chest, just right of his heart. Right where her brother had struck him. They had very similar hands, Izaya realized with a shiver.

Carefully removing her hand and pulling his shirt back into place, he questioned quietly.

"H-how-?"

Looking quite smug, she explained. "It's simple really. Being human, you can't actually exist in-in the other realm. Or physically at least. So~ I just transferred your conscience into a spectral form. And then when you got hurt there, I brought you back here and _poof_, all better!"

"So I was like a spirit…? And I object to '_poof_' being your onamonapia of choice as I'm being pulled from the brink of de- _Hey_!" Izaya protested as Futa-chan scooted closer, pressing her face against his clothed shoulder.

"Hey." Futa-chan murmured back as if in answer, suddenly shy. She peeked up at him through her hair and spoke against his shirt.

"I'm sorry…. About what with my brother. I honestly didn't expect him to react to you like that…."

Izaya wasn't one to miss little things, so it was clear to him why she was apologizing. She'd apologized for the magnitude of his reaction, not for his unexpected appearance. Anyone else wouldn't have picked such a small distinction up, but Izaya wasn't just anyone.

"But you knew he would show up and know it was me, didn't you." It wasn't an accusation or even a question. Izaya already knew.

"…" Futa-chan buried her head in his shoulder again. Answering the suspicion she heard loud and clear in his mind.

She'd lied, and she took a gamble. With his life, no less.

'If you don't trust me anymore Izaya, I'd understand…'

But with all his intuition and information, Izaya was no mind reader, so he didn't answer her.

He just watched her, pressed against the side of his body. When she was being still and quiet, not bursting with enthusiasm or countering his teases with snarky comebacks, even with her youthful face and childlike body, he could sense something ancient about her. There was a somberness and seriousness to her silence. Yes, when she wasn't running amok like an ADHD squirrel on drugs, he could see how mature she truly was. How much of her was a ruse, a red herring? He may not be omniscient, but Izaya wasn't an information broker for nothing.

'Who are you, really?'

And though she'd heard him, Futa-chan said nothing.

After their bout of silence became uncomfortable, Izaya sighed loudly and changed the subject.

"Geez~, all that hard work on my part, and not only did I not fool him, we didn't even get what we came for!"

"Hmm?" Futa-chan questioned, sitting up and gazing down at him quizzically. Then-

"Don't look at me like that, it's annoying and freaky!"

She smirked wider. "Like what~?"

"Like you know something I don't know or something!" Then it clicked.

"Wait, you…?"

She nodded rapidly, grinning hugely. "I got it."

Izaya gasped, then sat up quickly, eagerly cupping his hands in front of him. "Well, let me see!"

Futa-chan rolled her eyes and chuckled, and it really seemed as if _she_ was the adult and _he_ was the child.

"You don't even know if it's a tangible _thing_," she chided, and watched his face fall into a pout.

"It isn't?"

She giggled. "It is, it is, I'm just screwing with you."

Another gasp, this time tinged with outrage. "You-! You troll!"

'Would you like to be the pot, or the kettle?' She thought, laughing, louder and more full-bodied than earlier, before plopping something small and very warm into the informant's hands.

He stuck his tongue out at her briefly. "Kettle, please," he griped, and turned all his attention to the object between his palms. So captivated was he that he took no notice of the girl beside him stiffening as if electrocuted.

"Whoa… something this pretty belongs to that brute?"

Blinking away her shock, the girl was a bit slow to respond. She didn't even bother reminding him of his declaration of love for his so-called 'brute'. "Uh… yeah, it does…but uh…. Everyone's** got one so it's not such a big deal…"

"Everyone huh?" Izaya inquired, turning the small jewel like object in his hands. "So, it's like a soul then. Ooooh, this is a soul gem? Ah, is it~?"

"It's not really that simple," Futa-chan murmured, but Izaya paid her no mind.

"So I'm holding Shizu-chan's soul right now? That's so cool! Ah, if I crush it will it hurt him?" The informant asked, giving an experimental squeeze, then cocking his head to the far wall of his room. As if he'd be able to hear Shizuo screaming from Ikebukuro all the way in Shinjuku. He heard nothing. "Huh, guess it doesn't work like in anime. Oh well. So I just have to give it back to him right~? Wait, aren't you supposed to be, I dunno, dead if you're away from your soul? I guess Shizu-chan really is a monster. Still, he really isn't the same without this, huh? Hey wait! He would have to form a contract for his soul to take tangible form! So you- you and your brother are demons aren't you? Ah, that means that place- that was hell wasn't it!"

Futa-chan blinked slowly once. Then again. In her shocked state all the rambling nonsense from the informant was really absurd sounding. Who went around comparing real life to anime? She felt a slight headache coming on. "You-! You know what? Yes. We're demons. Happy now?"

Izaya giggled, sounding a bit nervous. "Sorry, I just, um, got a bit ahead of myself." he apologized, embarrassed. "But, in a sense, that's how it works right? This is his soul, and all I have to do is give it back to him, and he's fine?"

"Well, like I tried to say earlier," she paused to glare at the chastised informant, "it isn't that simple. This isn't Shizuo Hewaijima's soul- rather, it is the essence of Shizuo Hewaijima. I'd rather not dive into a long, complex explanation of the difference, so I'll keep this simple. The essence of a person, well… it's what makes each of you different. Unique and individual, every single one of you. And when my brother took that from Shizuo… he stopped being so different. I mean, he's still his own person, but… well you know how after a person dies, their brain keeps functioning for a brief period after their heart stops?"

Izaya nodded, looking a bit wary of her next words.

"Well, it's like that, really. Even after the 'heart' of Shizuo was taken, he is still hanging on, trying to function as he would if it were still within him."

"…. Are you saying that, eventually, without this essence, Shizuo will die?"

"…" Futa-chan nodded slowly.

"Then let's go!" Izaya exclaimed, jumping up from bed, ready to race from his room all the way to Ikebukuro.

"Hey, calm down," the girl cried, holding him back by the shoulders. "Don't freak out. Shizuo still has quite a bit of time left and the amount of time away from his essence won't affect him as long as he gets it!"

Izaya glanced back at her uneasily, turning the object in his hands over and over.

"… Ok, but I still think we should go. Now."

She smiled weakly in return. "That's fine, but do you really want to go out looking like that?"

He blinked. "Like what…?" Without walking for an answer he turned on his heel and stalked into the bathroom connected to his bedroom and slammed the door behind him.

Looking in the mirror, the informant winced. She was right- he shouldn't be walking out the door with his current appearance. Which in a sense, he had... The girl had sort of kidnapped him. His hair was stuck up all over the place and his clothes were askew and wrinkled from sleeping in them.

And splashing some cold water in his face and switching his normal V-neck shirt for a casual red T-shirt he'd conveniently found hanging on the door (Futa-chan had probably been kind enough to leave it for him) he returned to find Futa-chan standing innocently where she'd left him.

Innocently wearing _his_ jacket too.

Glaring at her briefly before shrugging it off, he headed through his office which was adjoined to his home. ***

She skipped after him, humming happily.

As they were heading down in the elevator Izaya glanced at the thing in his hand again.

"Now that I really look at it, it really doesn't look like a soul gem at all."

It really didn't. Instead of an egg shaped, intricately designed jewel, this was a simple rounded bottle, with a brilliant golden light glowing from whatever it was in the bottle. The light blocked his view of the thing. But from the feather-light weight of the bottle, he guessed it was just the light. It was incredible warm beneath his fingers. Holding it, he could hardly remember the chill of the Numbness… He was it, entranced still, as it fluttered delicately, like a baby's heart beat, or a butterfly's wings….

Wings.

"Hey Futa-chan…?"

"Yeah?"

"When I was hurt… I think I had a… dream. In my dream I got hurt _badly, _and it just… gave me the most dreadful feeling, you know?"

"That's understandable isn't it? I mean, you get hurt, you dream about being hurt, it makes enough sense. In any case, I'm no psychologist, and I hardly even spend time around humans, so I'm not the person to ask." She shrugged noncommittally.

But her face was guarded. And Izaya didn't miss little things. He said nothing. Then something else occurred to him.

"Hey Futa-chan?"

She heaved a sigh."What now?"

"If you hadn't taken me back to this world when you did, would I have died?"

"No." She said. Too quickly, too smoothly. Izaya just nodded.

Suddenly he noticed her biting her lip. She caught him watching and turned her face away.

"What," he demanded, turning her head to face him.

"It's nothing," she retorted, waving his hand away, but she couldn't hold back a smile now.

Eyes narrowed, he stared down at her challengingly.

Futa-chan couldn't possibly keep a straight face while he stared at her like that. "Alright, alright!" She relented with a laugh. "It's just… You scream like a little girl."

Izaya's eyebrows shot up past his hairline. "Ho~? I scream like you? I had no idea you had such manly screams, Futa-chan~"

Laughing again, she shoved him playfully as the elevator doors opened and they stepped out.

XXX

After convincing Futa-chan that taking a taxi to Shizuo's place was the best choice (as they couldn't be sure who would be watching on the other end if they teleported) they stood in front of his apartment complex. Izaya started feeling a bit apprehensive.

"When we give him his, uh, stuff back, won't he want to kill me again?"

Futa-chan kept her poker face as best she could. "That's cool with me."

He reached out and yanked a handful of her hair.

"Owww!"

"Do we just hand it do him? Or do we break the bottle? Hmm, maybe that would hurt him though…" the informant mused, ignoring her cry of pain.

"Ow!"

"Oh, right." He released her hair.

She glared fiercely at him, rubbing at her tender scalp. "Don't. Touch. The. Hair."

He reached for her head again, grinning impishly, only to have his hand slapped away. "Geez! Just leave the bottle in front of his door! I'm out of here!" she groused, spinning to stalk off.

Izaya frowned. "You're leaving already?"

"Yes!" she snapped, before turning back, her eyes softening. "I'm sorry again. About my brother. It won't happen again."

Izaya smiled. "It better not!" He turned to go up to Shizuo's apartment, waving the bottle over his shoulder. "Later."

"…. Izaya…."

Izaya looked back over his shoulder quizzically. "Hmm?"

She hesitated, and her face hardened. "… My presence might have something to do with how well you're feeling after you've just recovered. If you feel lightheaded or in pain after I'm gone, don't think anything of it."

The informant nodded thoughtfully, then started up again.

"Izaya!"

He sighed heavily, turning again. "Wha-! Ah!" Izaya sputtered against the fur in his face. He pulled his jacket away from his face to swear at the girl, only to find empty streets. Sighing, and almost immediately feeling a bit tired and aching, he trudged up to see Shizuo.

**Aaaand end of this arc of Apostasy! Believe it or not these last ten chapters were only part 1! On to the next one soon! **

***Um, when I was writing this one part I was blasting 'Smooth Criminal' so instead of Are you OK Izaya? I kept writing Are you OK Annie? XD Little fun fact for you~**

****Everyone just won't go away! *winks at icywarm* **

*****I have no idea if Izaya's office is also his apartment so I'll just say it is….**

**Few random things to say now:**

**I'm sorry for Izaya rambling about anime earlier… I just saw this one doujinshi where Izaya and Shizuo were talking about anime and simultaneously fighting, so now it's my head-cannon that Izaya is secretly an otaku w And if you know what anime Izaya was talking about I AM WILLING TO TAKE A REQUEST, EITHER FOR A ONESHOT OR APOSTASY!**

**You know what? I take it back. After writing Futa-chan wearing Izaya's jacket and telling him he screamed like a girl, I decided I really REALLY like Futa-chan. This is still Shizaya though, just in case anyone was getting any weird IzayaXFuta vibes earlier…. Cuz I kinda was….**

**I have NOT forgotten about Shizuo's Journal, it is just on hold for now. I am attempting for the first time in my life to outline a story before I actually write it. Hopefully it will be helpful cuz I have NO idea where I'm going with Apostasy ^_^" **

**And again, now that I'm on break I WILL try to update more, but I give no guarantees. Hopefully I will be finished with Apostasy before the summer ends though! **

**Thank you all for reading, reviewing and favoriting, it means SO much to me! Please review so I know you all care and want more! And I'm going on vacation Saturday so hopefully I will update before then, but if I don't… well, then you'll be in for a little waiting. SO SORRY! **


	11. Arc 1 epilogue

It was just another day. Nothing happened, or at least nothing that really mattered.

In the other room where he thought Celty couldn't hear, Shinra sighed again. He'd been doing that so much lately, that she wondered idly is she should be worried. Ah, but what's the point really? Worrying wouldn't help anything.

She felt so _tired, _but she hadn't done _anything_ in _days. _All she did was sit in her room. Before she would go out, ride Shooter around, even though she had no jobs, or anywhere she wanted to go. It was only to please Shinra, who was very perturbed by her current state, but now it was suddenly too much to ask. If she didn't want to do anything, she didn't have to.

Hey, it bothered her too, but at the same time, she didn't care at all. Strange.

Sitting here again, not chatting online, not doing jobs, not watching TV, not punching Shinra for being… Shinra, not even longing for her head, she didn't even try to distract herself from the hollowness inside her. She felt very, very tired.

She knew she was old, being immortal, probably even ancient, but she'd never felt _old _before. Was this that feeling? To be utterly exhausted by the thought of moving

When had it become like this? When did days just blur together until it seemed as if time had slowed to a standstill. When did everything stop mattering?

Was it when…?

…_Celty Sturluson?_

Celty felt a chill rush up her spine as she heard her name… spoken in her mind? Feeling slightly less asleep than she had been a moment ago, she stood from her lax position and glanced about. What was this feeling? Wariness?

…Fear? She hadn't felt anything like that since-

_Celty, meet me on your building's roof. I have something for you._

The feeling spiked again, sharper this time. Who was speaking to her?

There was one way to find out. Celty crept out from her room, not wanting to have Shinra bothering her again. No such luck.

"C-celty? You're up! Ah, where are you going Celty?" Shinra asked nervously. He hardly knew _this _Celty, so he wasn't very comfortable with her going out. His old Celty went out all the time, but this Celty was just… wrong. He could never tell what she was thinking, so frankly, he didn't trust her.

Celty waved off Shinra impatiently. She was about to tell him she was just stepping out onto the roof but… where was her PDA? She hadn't used it in a while, never felt like talking to anyone…

So instead she merely gestured vaguely and made a beeline for the elevator. She didn't have time to look for her PDA and what would she say even if she did? _A strange voice in my head told me to go up to the roof, I'll be back in five?_

She stepped into the elevator and turned in time to the doors close in Shinra's face. A different feeling clenched in her chest, twisting uncomfortably. But before she could identify it, it faded into the empty space inside her. Celty was frustrated for a moment, and then that feeling was gone too.

The elevator doors opened and Celty stepped out onto the roof. It was beautiful night in Ikebukuro. The sky was clear and the stars were shining as always. Neon lights of the bustling city added to the luminosity of the city. One dark stray cloud stood in contrast to all this, as if in defiance. It hovered right before the full moon, strangling the soft moonlight which usually bathed the city. The moon lingered, feeling bereft, missing its chance to shine on the people it always watched over.

Celty paused, glancing around. Didn't the voice say it would be here? _Maybe I was just hearing things…?_

"I don't really like to be referred to as a 'thing', thank you."

Jumping, Celty looked again, and there, illuminated against the glare of lights, was the figure of someone. Mentally Celty frowned; she was sure it hadn't been there a moment ago. She peered at the figure but couldn't quite make it out in the darkness. Odd, the dark had never hindered her vision before…

"Ugh, first 'thing', and now 'it'? That isn't very polite," the voice said, sounding irked.

Hesitantly, the figured came forward, and details about it became clear. It was a girl, probably young from her height. She stopped when there was still a good amount of distance between them, and then smiled carefully, like someone who wasn't used to being around other people often.

_Who are you? _Celty demanded, before blatantly realizing she couldn't speak.

"You don't need to worry about that, I hear you just fine." The girl said, still smiling carefully. She seemed to want to ease the dullahan's fear, keeping a distance, smiling, speaking softly.

…_How can you hear me? Who are you?_

It obviously wasn't working, judging by the hard edge to Celty's thoughts. "I can hear your thoughts. I don't know how, I just can. It's something I could always do. And… you can call me Futa-chan."

_Futa-chan…? _Celty wondered. She didn't trust this girl, not at all. Her thoughts were her own, and anyone who trespassed on what she wanted to stay in her head was just awful. It was a complete invasion of privacy! The dullahan's thoughts flashed briefly to a certain informant, and the girl's face hardened.

Only for a moment though. Almost immediately Futa-chan's features smoothed, her face becoming blank. "Do I remind you of him?"

_Huh?_

"Izaya. Do I remind you of Izaya?"

_Um… _The distrust and fear was easier to hold onto than other emotions, since it was so intense and fresh, but it too was slowly being lost to her, swallowed by the empty feeling. She struggled to answer. _Um… yes… I suppose. _

The girl blinked, looking surprised. "Huh… Oh, I almost forgot why I came here!"

_?_ Celty really didn't need words, as Futa-chan could sense her emotions as well. Futa-chan smiled and nodded, holding out her hand. "Here, take this."

Her wariness almost completed dissipated, Celty sluggishly approached the girl and placed her hand in hers. But… it was empty.

"That wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be…" Futa-chan muttered.

…

! ? !

XXX

Celty jolted awake. She felt as if she had just woken from a nightmare that she couldn't remember… Well, it must have been nothing, right?

Feeling a bit stiff, like she hadn't moved in a long time, Celty stood from her sprawled-on-the-ground position.

…_Why am I on the roof? … Weird. _

Celty stepped into the elevator and started down back to Shinra's apartment. She wanted to tell him all about this weird stuff, right away! Above her, the moon shined brightly down on Ikebukuro happily.

**Just a short epilogue for the first arc before I go on vacation *twiddles thumbs* **

**Please review, it makes me sooo happy! ^_^ And I'm kinda surprised no one has guessed what anime I was referencing last chapter… . The offer for a request for Apostasy still stands! Or I could do a oneshot. :P **

**Next update will be sometime in the next two weeks, and then they'll become more frequent, kay? *starts planning for arc two* **


	12. Pondering

**Apostasy Chapter 12**

**Updated! *puts on sunglasses* Cuz I'm cool like that. 8D**

"So everything's cool now, right?"

"Shizuo, don't worry about it! I'm the one who gave you time off. Why would I be angry that you took a break if I told you to?" Tom said, smiling reassuringly.

The blonde scratched the back of his neck and felt a smile of his own tug at his lips. "I know, it's just that, I don't think I've ever taken off work before…." He couldn't help but be apologetic. After all, his boss had done so much for him, putting up with his temper, the constant 'unauthorized leaves of absences' whenever a certain raven-haired man showed up, hell, even hiring him in the first place…!

"All the more proof you deserved some off time!" Tom exclaimed, clapping the blonde's shoulder. "Now let's go. Unless, you wanna head home and continue your vacation?" He joked, already knowing the answer.

"Naw, I need to get back to work," Shizuo replied, smiling sheepishly in return. "Fresh air and exercise, you know, all that good stuff."

"Right, right," Tom agreed amicably.

Their day was like any other- nothing out of the ordinary, and Tom wondered if all his worrying over Shizuo's wellbeing really was uncalled for. It seemed warranted at the time… but the bodyguard was going to work and getting angry and being Shizuo just like any other day. Could he be forcing himself for Tom's sake? Trying not to trouble his boss or worry his friends?

… No. there had truly been something wrong with the blonde just days ago… He was completely out of it for over a week after a fight with Izaya, and then today he comes for work totally fine? No, people just didn't do that, not even people like Shizuo. The dreadlock-haired man stubbornly refused to indulge in any of the rumors circling the blonde. Shizuo was human, through and through. There was not a doubt in Tom's mind. So what if he was stronger than anyone else in Ikebukuro, and probably the whole world? That was his gift, not a sign of monstrosity.

So what was going on? Tom wasn't exactly one to pry, which was one of the reasons Shizuo had befriended him. He decided the best course of action was to send the bodyguard home a bit early. If Shizuo was fine, then he shouldn't worry. He told himself that repeatedly, but couldn't help wanting to keep a close eye on the blonde and not push him too hard right when he had just 'recovered'.

"You sure, Tom?"

"Yeah, yeah, head on home. We're done for the day."

"Okay…" Shizuo muttered, ducking his head. He had a hunch why his boss was doing this, and the thought disturbed him. To be honest, if he were in his boss's shoes he would be thinking the same thing. Who just got sick with a disease that had practically no symptoms, was affected for a week, progressively had the life drained out of him, and then he miraculously recovered the next day?

No one.

Well, a freak might…

Shizuo sighed. Yeah, a freak would do that.

Tom had obviously been trying to figure out what the heck his problem was, and Shizuo would like to tell him, because then he might be able to figure it out himself!

He backtracked to through his 'Sick Days', as he liked to call them. He'd gone to work, didn't act like himself, Tom sent him home, he'd sat at home, not knowing what to do with himself, and then Izaya…

_Izaya. Ugh._

Izaya came in his home, snooped through his things, and '_Izaya-ed_' all over him! **

But then, the next day… Shizuo was Shizuo again.

_There's no way that flea _helped _me or anything…! He's not capable of helping anyone, especially not me! I was just depressed for a while and then I got over it. Maybe I'm bipolar. Wait, doesn't that mean I'll get depressed again? Ugh…_

Shizuo shook his head as if to rid the absurdity from his mind. He was dying for a cigarette.

Stopping in West Ikebukuro Park and lighting up, the blonde tried to turn his thoughts to better things- or at least, things besides the informant plaguing his thoughts.

He sat on a nearby park bench and focused on smoking-thinking only of the slow inhale... and exhale of the soothing poison.

Surprisingly, as usually nothing could calm his thoughts when they got out of control, it helped. Shizuo smiled a bit. _There. That wasn't too hard. I can think about things besides-_

[Hey Shizuo!]_  
><em>

Shizuo jumped; he hadn't even noticed Celty approach him. "Oh, hey Celty..."

[Haven't seen you in a while.] Celty typed, sitting across the bench from him. [It's been a little lonely] she admitted.

Shizuo nodded absently. "Yeah, haven't seen you since..." He grimaced. _Since they'd been talking about the flea._

The tapping of keys pulled the blonde from his reverie. [How have you been?] She asked, oblivious to his distraction.

"... Fine. And you?"

[I'm good. Shinra's acting a little more possessive than usual lately, but it's nothing I can't handle.]

"... Huh."

[Shizuo? Something wrong?]

"No, it's just," Shizuo paused. What if Celty thought he was crazy? What is he _wa__s_ crazy? "It's just that, yesterday, I saw Izaya and-"

[Shizuo] Celty quickly interrupted. [Listen, that stuff I said about Izaya last time]

The blonde quickly covered the PDA. "No, Celty, he was_ in my apartment._"

The dullahan froze. [W-what? Why? Oh, Shizuo, you didn't kill him did yo]

Shizuo placed his hand over Celty's again. "I didn't kill him," he muttered.

Celty cringed. [Ah, sorry, I shouldn't have assumed anything...] she stroked the keys, the motion somehow appearing contrite to the blonde.

He just shook his head. "Anyone would have thought the same thing," he said, a bit dismissively.

[So.. what happened? What did he want?]

Shizuo sighed. "He said he was trying to figure out what was wrong with me-"

[There's nothing wrong with you!] Celty typed rapidly, silently fuming. That informant! Why did he always have to treat Shizuo like a monster when he already was so alienated from people?

"No Celty, not like that," Shizuo said, chuckling a bit. "Not the usual 'monster' thing. There was _actually_ something wrong with me."

... Celty tilted her helmet, more than a little puzzled. [Oh... What was wrong?] _And why did Izaya know about it? And why did it matter to him? And why didn't you tell _me_ about it?_ Many unspoken questions hovered on Celty's proverbial lips.

"Um... that's the thing. I don't really know. And so... he was curious. Guess, being an informant, it bugged him not to know _every_ little thing in Ikebukuro. He asked me about it and stuff... and he said there was something similar happening with you."

[Huh?] Celty slowly shook her helmet. [No, I feel fine.]

"Well, yeah, but so do I, and I wasn't feeling like this just yesterday."

The dullahan typed thoughtfully. [Now that you mention it... I didn't go out at all for a week before today...]

Shizuo sighed. "Do you know why?"

Celty shrugged. [Just didn't feel like it, I guess. Now that I look back on in, it's kinda fuzzy. I can't really remember what I was thinking at the time...] She shrugged again. [It can't have been that important anyway, since we're both fine now.]

The blonde was less than convinced. "I dunno... Maybe you can't remember much, but when I look back now, I feel this tightness in my chest and..." Shizuo closed his eyes, trying to put the terrible emptiness he felt into words. "It's almost like I was a different person... Someone who was afraid of me." Shizuo clenched his fists tightly. "I can't blame anyone for that, of course."

Feeling incredibly awkward, like she'd walked into a very intimate conversation not meant for her, though the blonde was telling her of his own will, she patted his shoulder, trying to be comforting. [You don't have to tell me.] _And there's no reason to be afraid of you. _She wished she could add, but she couldn't just lie to her friend's face. Just because she wasn't afraid of him didn't mean there wasn't any reason.

Disliking the tenseness between them, Shizuo scowled and stuck his cigarette back in his mouth.

There was some scuffling off near the road. Glancing up, Shizuo and Celty saw what looked like-

"What the heck? A lover's quarrel?"

Suddenly the girl tugging at what Shizuo guessed was her boyfriend ran past them. Just as she passed, he felt Celty stiffen next to him, and take off to grab the girl. Shizuo jumped up and marched after them.

"St-stop!"

Reaching the girls, the blonde attempted to calm the shrieking high schooler. "Calm down. We're not going to hurt you."

Flailing wildly, the girl reached up and slapped him, still shrieking incoherently. "Let go!"

Shizuo grit his teeth, telling himself not to get angry. The girl was panicked and had every right to be. Who wouldn't start screaming when the Shizuo Heiwajima and the Black Rider grabbed them unexpectedly?

"Listen to us-" Shizuo broke off, wincing in pain. He glanced down and blinked. Was that a _pen _embedded in his leg?

Ah, yep, that was a pen, Shizuo mentally affirmed as that punk stuck him _again_. "_Let go of her_," the strange boy growled. Celty, apparently just as surprised as the blonde, loosened her grip on the girl's arm. Immediately she took off.

Celty started after her again, then hesitated, looking back at Shizuo. He waved her off. "I'm fine. It doesn't hurt." He grinned and removed his sunglasses. "I don't know what's going on, but you have to chase her, right? I've always wanted to say this!" He said, excited. "'Leave this to me! You go on ahead!'"

The dullahan nodded slightly and raced off.

"Wait!" The strange boy yelled, running, (rather pointlessly) after Celty. No one just catches someone on a motorcycle like that!

"Wait!"

"No! you wait!" Shizuo said, lifting the boy by his collar.

"Let me go!" The boy snapped, flailing desperately. "Let me go, I said!"

Rather calmly, the blonde questioned: "Is she your girlfriend?"

"That's right!" The boy retorted. "Fate brought us together!"

"Why is she like that?" Shizuo asked, ignoring the 'fate' nonsense. Fate didn't do him any favors, so why should this punk have it easy?

"Hell if I know!"

Shizuo heard the all too familiar snapping of his patience. "_What the hell does that mean_?" He roared, spinning the boy rapidly and then letting him fly. He flew over gawking spectators and slammed into a truck the next street over. But Shizuo wasn't done yet.

Lifting the boy again by the collar but this time facing him, he growled, "You love her, but you don't know anything about her? Isn't that a little irresponsible? HUH?" _You can't love someone if you don't know them..._

"That has nothing to do with loving her!" the boy declared, only shaking a little.

"Huh?" Shizuo said, shaking the boy. "Then what? Why'd fate bring you together?" _Why do I even care...?_

_"_Because I love her! There's no other reason! You can't express love in words!"

Shizuo felt his glare intensify. _What does this punk know about love? If you don't even know a person, let alone express your love in words, then it doesn't work! __There _had _to be reason, shit didn't work otherwise! _

"So I... I'll show it with my actions! I'll protect her!" The boy shouted swinging another pen at Shizuo's face. "That's all!"

Shizuo raised his free hand protectively and felt a small shock at seeing the pen go straight _through _his hand.

_Wow... the things these stupid kids do for love. _The bodyguard thought. And for some inexplicable reason, his thoughts flashed to a certain informant. He grinned ferally, dismissing it as thinking of 'stupid' and not 'love'.

"I like you a lot more than Izaya, so I'll let you off with this!" And headbutted him. And walked away with his hands shoved in his pockets. He returned his sunglasses to his face and studied the pen in his hand. "Ah, this'll bleed if I take it out. Better buy a band-aid first. No, maybe some super glue would be better," he mumbled to himself.

**I would write an ending but my mom's parental control is going to kick me off in three minutes so bye! **

**** Shizuo doesn't like it when Izaya is 'Izaya-ing' him. XD **


	13. Hiatus

**I'm dead guys. So fucking dead. My mother is going to kill me.**

**Fucking AP scores came in today.**

**I'm really sorry. Apostasy and all my other stories are all officially on hiatus.**

… **Bye guys. You are all wonderful readers, and really encouraged me when I first started writing. I'm really sorry about this. I **_**will **_**keep writing this story, and all my others, I just don't know when my mom will stop being mad for long enough for me to type something up and post it…. **

**My stories are like my babies, so rest assured I will finish them all. I am resolved on that.**

**I was going to try to rush through this chapter, but I feel literally sick with fear right now.**

**And this is all because I'm such a damn slow test taker. Damn. **

**It's been fun guys. Till we meet again… **


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